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Decker, now naked and sprawled out on the bed after we’ve had sex twice, a satisfied expression on his face, makes me happy. And the orgasms he gave me—even happier. I don’t have any regrets. In fact, I want him to take me again when I’m able to move.
He’s right; with everything that has happened, I don’t want to think about the what-ifs. I just want to live my life how I want it, and I want to be unapologetic about it. We might work out, we might not, but either way this is what I want right now.
And I’m taking it.
Future me can worry about the repercussions.
He reaches out to take my hand into his, absently stroking my knuckles. I know I said I wouldn’t make the first move again, but I kind of did by telling him that we should come here. When he’s affectionate, along with the little speech he gave me back at Clover’s, he lets me know that he does feel the same way as me.
I’m feeling good about us.
Which, in turn, makes me feel a little bad about Rhett, who is in danger and has been sent away, while I’m enjoying myself with a new man. I know he’s not going to be happy; Dad is right about that. But I can’t keep living my life for other people.
Decker, as if he can tell I’m thinking about another man, rolls over and pushes my hair out of my face. “Can I get you anything? Something to eat or drink?”
I shake my head and turn so we are facing each other, up close and looking into each other’s eyes. It’s quite an intimate moment. How bad is that? We’ve had sex multiple times, but this moment makes me feel more vulnerable.
“I’m okay, thank you. I think I got what I needed.”
His lip twitches. “You and me both. I’ve been wanting you again so bad, you have no idea. You drive me crazy.”
There’s something about him that I can’t explain, so I know what he’s talking about, because I feel the same.
The want. The needs. It’s all consuming.
“Then we’re even,” I whisper huskily.
He kisses me and rolls me on top of him, and then he makes love to me slowly, thoroughly, and without inhibition.
If he wants me to get attached to him, he’s doing a good job of it.
* * *
I check in with Clover to let her know that we are safe and everything is okay. Decker has an epic security system for his home, so just like Clover’s, it’s another safe space. Or, at least, as safe as I can get.
We order in Chinese food and eat it naked in bed, talking about everything and anything.
“So you finished a whole degree in marketing and advertising and then realized you didn’t want to do it? That sucks.”
“Yep,” I reply, sighing. “Some people have to learn things the hard way. It seems I am one of those people. Although it feels nice having another degree under my belt as security, if for whatever reason I decide not to teach anymore.”
“You mean you can brag about having two degrees?” he teases.
“More like so my parents can,” I laugh, putting my takeout container and fork on his side table. “At least you swapped to a similar enough career; mine was completely different.”
“A woman of many talents,” he compliments, green eyes dancing with amusement.
“I’m sure you’ve heard this before, but you have the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen,” I say, staring into them. “Like seriously, they are fucking turquoise or something. Insane. Sometimes they even look blue. Your eyes are like a mood ring.”
“Actually no one has ever told me that before,” he replies with a grin, satisfaction coming off him in waves. “But it’s now my all-time favorite compliment. And you know what? I can’t remember what color eyes I liked the best before you, but it’s been brown for a while now.”
I shake my head and smile at his charm. “Really? My mud-brown eyes?”
“They aren’t mud-brown. They are like chocolate and have a little bit of hazel in them, and they somehow manage to see right through me. So yeah, they are perfect. I fucking love chocolate,” he says, keeping his gaze on me. “So now I just have to look at you and show off my ocean eyes whenever you are mad at me? Are they my get-out-of-jail-free cards?”
I roll my eyes. “That compliment went right to your head, didn’t it? Now I know why no one else compliments you.”
He laughs, and I can’t help but just watch him.
