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“I’m not busy,” he barked.
“It seemed to take you a while before coming to the door. I didn’t think about you having, you know… company.”
I turned to leave, berating myself over the stupidity of this moment. “I’m sorry. This was a spur of the moment thing that blew up in my face. I’ll let you go back to whatever you were doing.”
“Decca, I was asleep. Trying to be, at least. It took me a minute to hear you knocking. Then another minute to throw on some clothes. It’s after midnight.”
“Really?” I narrowed my eyes at him.
“Is it that hard to believe I’d be asleep after midnight?”
“I thought you were a night owl.”
“Not on Saturday nights.”
“Because of church?” I was stalling now.
“Because of church.” He nodded, half-smiling.
“Okay, um... Can I come in?”
He blinked. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Dec.”
“Oh. That’s—that’s not what I thought you were going to say.”
“What? You thought I’d run for a towel? Maybe, pull off that sweater of yours and breathe fire onto your chilled skin?”
Yes, please.
“No. I was not expecting that. Nor was I expecting that weird outburst. I’m sorry I woke you. Just forget I was here.”
He stepped onto the porch. Now that he was no longer half-hidden in shadow, I saw him in full deshabille glory. It was a side of Gus I’d never seen before, not that it was indecent by any means. He wore his usual black shirt and black pants, but he hadn’t buttoned up his collar all the way. No robe. No cross. He was barefoot. His feet were long and slender, but somehow strong. Oh, Gus had beautiful feet.
He reached for my hand, giving it a friendly squeeze before dropping it and crossing his arms like I had cooties.
“I’m sorry, Decca. I didn’t mean to snap. I’m tired. I’m going through some things.”
“I know, Gus. You usually share your things with me.”
“I do,” he conceded. “But… I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to do that.” He rubbed his tired eyes. “What did you come here for?”
“I don’t want to ask you now.” I sounded like a petulant child, but it didn’t make my words any less true. I didn’t want to ask him when he was in this grumpy, weird mood. I didn’t want to be turned away at the door. I knew our relationship would change, but I wasn’t ready for this hot and cold bullshit.
Dumb, spur-of-the-moment decisions. I could be at home by now, showered and dry, my hands cupped around a mug of tea. Alone.
“Decca, I’m the only one home right now. I’m about to be a priest. I don’t love the optics of a beautiful woman coming to my house in the middle of the night. That’s the only reason I’m out here instead of upstairs running you a bath.”
Oh. Well...Oh.
Once I stopped blushing, I’d try to figure out if he’d meant to deepen his voice into that growly drawl when he’d said that, or if I was reading into things as usual.
“Ask me,” he said, his eyes desperate. Goading me on. Almost like he’d known the question before I did.
This was my shot.
Just one deep breath, Decca. You can do this.
Okay, maybe just onemoredeep breath.
