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Now what? At first, she’d hesitated to return home, thinking the police could tie her to the motel. But when she didn’t see any signs of them around her place, she strode in, acting like she’d stayed at a friend’s.
When her mother approached looking pale and distraught, Tansy immediately figured it had to do with her overnight absence. Christ, another lecture. Just what she needed. Hoping to hold off the inevitable, she asked, “What’s up, Mom?”
“It’s your dad. Come in here with me. I need to tell you something.” Walking slowly, shielding her ribs in case her crazy father was home, she followed the woman cautiously, taking her time.
Carol, her mother, led the way into the living room. When Tansy hesitated, her voice became unusually strict. “Do as I say, Tansy. We need to talk now.”
“Fine.” Tansy stomped into the room, thankful to see it was empty. She slouched in a chair facing her mother. Her eyes narrowed at the way the troubled woman acted… at the weird dishevelment of a person whose grooming was perfect at all times. When they connected gazes, she understood instantly that her mother had been crying.
Uncomfortable with this insight, Tansy wished she could run and never look back. But for a strange reason she couldn’t explain, she felt cemented to the scene.
“Your father asked me for a divorce last night.” Carol’s poised demeanor scared her almost as much as the rigidity of her tone.
Stunned, Tansy allowed a small glimmer of light into her longtime broken heart. She’d be rid of him… the asshole, the degenerate who’d made both their lives a living hell. “Good.” The word burst out filled with the pleasure she didn’t try to hide. “I’m glad. It’s about time we got rid of the bastard.”
Her mother started to cry. “I begged him not to leave. But he has a girlfriend. She’s pregnant and making him step up.”
Tansy began to laugh but the sounds soon became hysterical. Her mother rushed to her and ended up on her knees in front of Tansy’s chair, her arms reaching to hold her daughter.
Resisting at first – her natural instinct – she held herself rigidly while staring into the face she hadn’t really looked at for such a long time. As if a veil lifted from her sight, she saw the lined features of a woman who’d suffered continuous hardships and loneliness. A mirrored image of herself… just older.
Something broke inside the girl. As hard as she fought against the tide of surrender, a far greater power won. With her usual self-confidence destroyed by recent events, a painful ripping began inside her shuddering body.
Tansy slid on the floor, gripped her mother tight, and let the wash of tears loose. The two cried like a violent storm had infected them both, arms tight around each other as they swayed back and forth.
No matter how much she tried, Tansy couldn’t stop. She wailed so hard and for so long that her mother became worried. Finally, Carol brushed Tansy’s hair from where it stuck to her tears and forced her to face the woman who’d never turned her back.
“Tansy, listen to me. I know you’ve become alienated from your father… and with reason. No… let me talk. He can be dreadful, I know. But he’s my husband, and I owed him my loyalty. Baby, I don’t have any schooling to speak of and no career to fall back on. My health isn’t the best, so working a mundane job to keep us living a good life never seemed an option.”
“M-om.”
“Let me finish. Years ago, I made up my mind to be the best wife and mother I could and hoped it would be enough. Obviously, it wasn’t, especially the last few years. Not for him. Not for you.”
“That black-hearted bastard hit you. All the time.”
“Maybe, but last night he shoved and slapped me for the last time. I admit it’s a huge relief.”
Tansy believed her and added, “He’s scum. I hate him.”
“Now Tansy.”
“No. You don’t get to protect him any longer. He left you, left us. Only to make another girl’s life as miserable as ours has been. Don’t you get it, Mom. He’s a son of a bitch, and we don’t need him.”
Tansy’s mom sighed. “I know. Soon, I promise I’ll get over feeling like a failure, and this annoying need to protect him. I guess twenty years of being groomed takes longer than twenty-four hours to shake off.”
For the first time in the last few years, Tansy felt a real kinship with the woman who’d made her early years the only fun times she remembered. It had been her mother who always tried so hard to be the perfect role model. Who’d taken her kids for ice cream treats and sat with them at the park so they could get sunshine and play with others.
“Come, I’ll make us some lunch.” Carol led them into the kitchen and smiled at Tansy as she slid into a chair to wait for her food.
While Carol puttered to fry eggs and make toast, Tansy thought about her options. Suddenly, she recognized a seemingly impossible truth… the chance to be a good daughter. Once her mother sat across the table from her, she scanned the woman’s face. Looking at her for far longer than she had in a very long time, she saw the puffiness around her swollen eyes.
“Mom, I’ve always wondered about something. Why didn’t Dad ever hit us kids? I know Ryan complained a lot about what an asshole he was, but I don’t remember him ever hitting us like he did you.”
Carol’s face became suddenly hard with a conviction Tansy had never seen before. “The first time he raised a hand to Ryan, I told him if he ever hurt either one of you, I’d leave him for good… but before I left I’d wait till he was sleeping or passed out, and I’d take a two-by-four to him.”
Shocked yet believing the words, Tansy nodded. “Thank you for that. I wished the verbal abuse could have been dealt with the same way.”
“I know. I’m sorry. He was a stinker, wasn’t he?”
