AllFreeNovel
Share Us
My homemade sandwich is taunting me, sitting in the little Tupperware box on my desk and begging to be eaten. It’s the right thing to do, even if my mind is already at the coffee shop and who I might see there. Although, popping out to grab something much more tasty is appealing.
But I sit at my desk, eat my lunch, and focus on my work for the rest of the day.
I reward myself on the way home. I never go to the coffee shop at this time of day, and I refuse to avoid somewhere I love just in case my luck runs out. The odds are stacked in my favour — there’s no reason why he’d be here.
I make it inside the shop and order a chocolate milkshake. The weather is balmy, and I need to cool off from the fast stride I took from the office. It reminds me that summer has arrived, and I should embrace it.
As I push the door to leave and turn, I see that Jeremy is sitting on the empty table just outside the door.
“Anna,” he greets and looks up at me, his sunglasses shielding his eyes from mine.
I shake my head, but there’s a part of me — a narcissistic spot deep inside — that likes that he’s here. It’s my secret and sits at the heart of the toxicity between us, breaking through to steer my actions.
“You’ve got to stop this.” I turn away from him, unable to admit that a part of me likes seeing him. But as I start to walk away, he follows. “I’ve not seen you in over four years. Now, in less than two weeks, I’ve seen you three separate times.”
“A happy coincidence. Let it go, Anna.”
“No,” I turn to face him, “I need you to stop.”
“Stop what? I’m not doing anything.” His smile tugs at his lips, but it just makes me mad. He might not be, and I might be in part to blame, tempting fate. “You seem to be everywhere I am,” I complain. “Why? Why now, if you haven’t left?”
“As I said, a coincidence. But if it will make you happy, I won’t come here again.”
“Thank you.” I turn away, force my foot to take the next step and start walking. Just talking with Jeremy is playing with fire, and I wish I could push him away and truly forget.
His hand wraps around my wrist to stop me, pulling me back towards him. “You know, I’d never do anything to hurt you. That’s still the case and will never change.”
Every time I see him, it gets harder to keep the anger front and centre in our interactions.
I nod, not sure what else to say, but he’s hurt me more than anyone else has. I have to remember that.
“Take a walk with me?” His thumb circles the pulse on my wrist as he asks. “No fighting, just—” He brushes my hair behind my ear with his other hand, and my nerves spark like firecrackers with the contact, making my stomach drop like the world just dipped.
“That’s not a good idea.” I go to pull my arm away, but he keeps hold, the grip just enough to stop me and start my heart pounding in my chest.
“Why?”
“Because.” I search for the words— for anything to use against him. “We’re not a good idea. And I’m with someone,” I add the last bit as if it can form some kind of defence.
“I don’t fucking care about him because there shouldn’t be anyone else except for me. And you know it, Anna.”
“No. Stop. That’s not fair.”
“Who said anything about being fair.” He closes the gap further, tugging me towards him and pushes his sunglasses from his face as though he knows that if I look at him — really look — I’ll be lost. “I still love you, Anna.”
My eyes close at his words, shielding me for a moment as I feel my heart rip in my chest, torn between what I want to do and what I know I should do. I’m not a bad person, but around Jeremy, all my sense of reason vanishes.
All my feelings are right there, ready to break through the rubble of my broken heart and gasp for breath at hearing his words.
“I don’t believe you,” I lie.
“I don’t care. It’s the truth.”
“What do you want from me?” I cleave myself from his grasp, suddenly angry at how he’s manipulating me.
“I want you. I need you. And I know you want me, too.”
My head shakes, protesting even with my heart thundering in my chest.
