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My heart is thundering, and as I slump, I succumb to the drugs and let them take me away.
I can’t keep my surroundings in check, I can’t keep track of anything, and for the first time, a sliver of pure fear breaks through.
Time slips. I don’t know where I am, but I do fade in and out.
Voices rouse me. I open my eyes, but the rest of me remains stuck.
The girl who was with Tony is in front of me. Only she’s with Jeremy, moving him, pushing at his body. My vision skips, and I see double, the image splitting in front of me before coming back together.
Jeremy is kissing her. His arms are around her, although he looks clumsy. I can’t move my eyes, and they fix on the scene playing out in front of me.
Then she looks over to me. She even gives me a smirk, telling me she knows exactly what she’s doing. And I can’t do a thing. I feel trapped, screaming inside my head as I watch as Jeremy starts to grope her and pull her clothes off.
“That’s it, baby,” she mewls.
Pain seeps into my heart and turns it dark, shrivelling and crippling me.
My eyes blink, but the vision doesn’t change. It’s still them, making out. They fall down onto a bed, which doesn’t make sense; we were in the kitchen earlier. He lies back as she takes over, attacking him as he lifts his hands above his head.
Tears well and slip silently down my cheek, but they drop from the bridge of my nose. I’m on my side, lying down on the floor. I try to work my muscles to push me up, to do something, but they don’t answer.
The girl continues to work over Jeremy, shoving his clothes about and pulling at his hair so she can kiss him.
His face tips towards me, and he looks me in the eyes. A quizzical look furrows his brow as if he doesn’t understand what he’s seeing. “Anna.” A soft murmur from his lips reaches me.
“That’s right, baby.” She pulls his head back as she descends to kiss him again before moving her witch hands down to his jeans and pulling his cock free from his jeans. “You need a little work, but I got you.” She starts to jack him off before kneeling and awkwardly lowering herself onto him.
I don’t know why this girl is being such a bitch, or why she wants to do this, but the coldness and pain slide into my veins, turning them to ice.
Watching on, it’s like I’m seeing a nightmare play out in front of me. All my insecurities come to life — all my fears raw like open wounds.
My eyes blink back more tears as my body screams out in pain. My heart, racing from the high, is now aching, like it’s being crushed in my chest. It radiates throughout my body and turns my stomach sour.
I close my eyes, trying to breathe and settle the nausea rolling in my stomach as the bitch starts to moan and groan. Blocking it out is impossible. It just sounds louder inside my head.
My stomach constricts, and I heave the contents up and to the side, dribbling the vomit down the side of my face and onto the floor. It’s slimy and tastes bitter as I try to spit the rest out.
Finally, I let my eyes close and drift, the pain in my chest keeping a beat to pull me under, and I go, happy to drown in whatever this is.
Deep, deep down.
Chapter Nineteen
Icome around, but there’s no party. Everything is quiet, eerily still.
My tongue is furry in my mouth, and my lips feel tight, like the skin is already split and cracked. Forcing my eyes to focus, I look around.
Nothing.
The smell of vomit makes me want to wretch all over again, but I swallow that down. I move, sitting myself up, and try to wipe the worst of it from my neck and top.
Nobody is here.
I pull myself to stand and look around.
The bed comes into focus, and I’m assaulted by sketchy and patchy images. Jeremy. Another girl. They weave together into a film reel depicting what I can remember of last night, but it’s enough. It’s enough to break my heart and shatter me all over again.
I buckle under the pain as I sob, one giant loud wail, as I let out the heartache. It echoes in the room, but I can’t stop. The tears come, and the cries grow louder, making it harder to breathe and catch my breath.
