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It settles something in my chest.
I only wish that it stayed that way.
We had both been studying for our exams, which started in a matter of days, every hour of every day. It was tedious and stressful, and even I got cabin fever.
So, we agreed to go for dinner. Nothing special, just to get out and spend some time together with our heads out of the books. Jeremy doesn’t usually settle for fast food, but it felt needed, and he ordered enough for four of us.
“Feeling hungry?”
“Starved. I’ve burned all my calories from the study.”
He digs into his first burger, unwrapping it from the greasy paper like he’s not eaten all day, and he devours it before I’m only two bites in. We even laugh about it.
Then his phone starts with messages, vibrating it off the table.
“What’s that?” I ask around a mouthful of fries.
“I’ll check it later.” He carries on eating and clears his three burgers in the time it takes me to finish my one.
“I don’t know how you ate that much.” I laugh at him.
“I must be the one doing all the work, building up an appetite.” He grins and leans in. “And I’m not even being dirty.” His eyes darken, and he stares at me, making me forget all about food or revision.
Until the phone interrupts us.
“Are you finished?” He points to the mess of burger wrappers and empty packets of fries.
“Yep.”
“Let’s get out of here.” He grabs my hand, and we head back to the car.
Only we don’t go home. We end up at one of his friend’s houses, where there’s a party.
“What are we doing?” I bite out, hurt that he’s dragged me here with no conversation.
“We won’t stay long. Don’t worry.” He takes my hand and leads me inside. It’s packed with people, most I don’t recognise, but it’s wall to wall, and we can barely move. The music blares, and people are already off their faces even though it’s not late.
“You made it!” There’s a huge cheer as Jeremy walks through and out onto the small, paved area.
“Hey!” he greets. They all look at me like I wasn’t invited, and I squeeze Jeremy’s hand harder. “Do you want a drink?” he asks, but I shake my head. I don’t want to be here, let alone drink.
“I’m just going to have one.” He keeps my hand in his as he goes back inside to find something and pours himself a shot.
We go back outside to where the friends he wanted to see are. I go and sit on the low garden wall and watch, my anger simmering. They engulf Jeremy into their circle, and I’m reminded of how they were at school. Only this time, there’s a smile on Jeremy’s face.
He’s happy, and I wonder if I’m stopping him from having fun with his friends. That thought plants enough doubt in my mind to stop me from marching out.
One drink leads to more, and it’s not even an hour later when Jeremy’s had too much to drive home.
We’re all sitting on the lawn when they start handing around a joint. I skip it and pull up the app to order a ride home.
“Oh, Archer, Little Miss Good Girl Anna wants to go home,” Derek calls.
“No, don’t, Anna. I want you to stay,” he slurs his words a little, leans in closer, and puts his arm around me.
“I think I should go. You don’t have to. We can catch up tomorrow.”
He grabs my hand and stops me from standing. “Anna, no.”
