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I let out a shuddering breath, my eyes widening at the realization. It’s true. I’m in love with them. Deeply, madly, head-over-heels in love. The kind of love that consumes you, that fills every inch of your being with warmth and light.
My heart is pounding in my chest, my palms are sweaty, and I feel like I’m going to be sick. The thought of confessing my feelings, of putting myself out there and risking rejection, is terrifying. What if they don’t feel the same way? What if I ruin everything we have?
But there’s a part of me that’s also relieved. Now that I’ve acknowledged my feelings, I can start to figure out what to do about them. I can’t keep pretending that this is just a casual fling, that I’m not completely and utterly in love with these men.
I’m not sure if the guys feel the same way about me, but there’s only one way to find out. I have to talk to them, to lay my cards on the table and see where the chips fall. It’s a risk, but it’s one I’m willing to take.
I take a deep breath, steeling myself for whatever comes next. My future is in their hands, and I can only hope they’ll be willing to take a chance on me, on us. That they’ll see how much I care about them, how much I want to build a life together.
The rest of the day passes in a blur. I’m barely able to concentrate on my work, my mind racing as I try to figure out what to do. Every time I hear footsteps outside my office, my heart skips a beat, thinking it might be one of them coming to talk to me.
Finally, it’s time to go home. As I gather my things, I can’t help but glance at the guys’ offices. The lights are still on, and I can see them through the glass, hunched over their desks, working away. Of course, they’re still busy.
On the one hand, it gives me time to get my thoughts in order, to figure out exactly what I want to say to them. But on the other, it leaves me feeling anxious and uncertain. I need advice, someone to talk to who can help me make sense of all these swirling emotions.
I take a deep breath and pick up the phone to call my sister. Maria has always been my best friend and confidant, the one person I can turn to no matter what. She knows me better than anyone, and I’m sure she’ll have some insight into what’s going on.
As the phone rings, I’m nervous and excited, my heart racing in my chest. I can’t seem to keep still, pacing back and forth in my office as I wait for her to pick up.
“Hey, sis,” Maria answers, her voice warm and familiar. Just hearing her makes me feel a little better, a little less alone.
“Hi, Maria,” I say, grinning into the phone. “How are you?”
“I’m good, but what’s up with you? You sound…different. Happy,” Maria says, and I can hear the curiosity in her voice.
“I am happy,” I say, not sure how to explain. “Remember my new job?”
“Of course,” Maria replies. “The one with the hot bosses, right?”
I laugh, feeling a blush creep up my cheeks. “Yeah, that’s the one. Well, there are these guys…”
“Guys!” she yells, and I have to hold the phone away from my ear for a second. “Ava, are you telling me what I think you’re telling me?”
“Maybe,” I say, not sure how to explain further. “They’re not just any guys, though. They’re…”
I trail off, not sure how to describe them. How do you put into words the way someone makes you feel, the way they touch your soul and ignite your passion?
“What are they? Hot? Sexy? Good in bed?” Maria asks, her voice laced with excitement.
“You could say that,” I say, grinning. “And smart, and funny, and nice… They’re incredible, Maria. In every way.”
There’s a pause on the other end of the line, and then Maria asks cautiously, “Ava? Did you… Did you have a threesome?”
Oh My God, if only she knew. If only she had any idea of the depths of my depravity, of the way these men have consumed me, body and soul.
“Actually,” I say, taking a deep breath. “It’s a foursome.”
There’s a moment of stunned silence, and then Maria explodes. “A FOURSOME? Ava, what the hell? I thought you were just on a break with Jim.”
“I was,” I say, trying to explain. “And this isn’t exactly a relationship, but…”
“But what?” Maria asks, her voice rising. “How can it not be a relationship if you’re sleeping with them?”
“It’s hard to explain,” I say, struggling to find the words. “But it’s not like anything I’ve ever experienced before. It’s so much more than just a fling or a casual thing.”
“Have you guys talked about it?” Maria asks, and I can hear the concern in her voice. “About what this is, and what you both want?”
“Not officially,” I say, biting my lip. “But I think we’re all on the same page. At least, I hope we are.”
