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The raw vulnerability in her question pierces straight through me, stripping away the last vestiges of bravado. I suck in a harsh breath, feeling those old demons stirring in the depths of my gut. Instinctively, I want to retreat, to deflect. To keep Aspen at a safe distance so she can't see the shredded, damaged parts.
But she's already seen them, hasn't she? She was there when it all fell apart, when I shattered into a million jagged pieces in the wake of Mitch's death. My closest friend, my partner in crime who lived for the same adrenaline-soaked thrills I did.
Until that final climb when everything went horribly wrong.
The visions come rushing back in a torrent—the first ominous rumblings of the rock slide, panicked shouts as the cliff face sheared away around the group of climbers from camp. I can still remember the desperate scramble to get lines anchored and haul them out before it was too late, but it wasn't enough. The sickening crunch of impact as massive boulders slammed into them, the screams as bodies crumpled.
Among the fallen was Mitch, his death hitting me the hardest, leaving a wound that never truly healed.
"I never meant to hurt you, Red." The words rasp out, my voice sounding like gravel after miles of silence. "When Mitch died, I..."
I trail off, swallowing hard against the lump burning in my throat. Aspen doesn't speak, doesn't move. She simply holds my stare, silently encouraging me to keep going. To release the torment I've been choking on for years.
"His death was my fault," I force out in a raw growl. "We were all pushing the limits, always seeking bigger thrills. That’s what got so many of them killed. I was so arrogant, so goddamn reckless thinking I could keep pushing the limits with no consequences. And Mitch... he paid the price along with the others."
My fingers curl into fists, nails biting crescents into my palms. The sting helps ground me, allows me to keep the memories at bay for a few precious moments longer.
"I couldn't face it. Any of it," I admit, the shame coating each word like ash on my tongue. "So I ran. As far and as deep into the backcountry as I could, trying to outrun the guilt and pain by losing myself out there."
Saying it aloud, giving voice to the self-loathing that's haunted me for so long... it's like a vise unclenching around my battered soul. Little by little, the knot lodged in my throat eases as Aspen holds my stare, her expression a blend of tenderness and new understanding.
"You were punishing yourself," she murmurs, realization dawning in those vivid eyes.
"And I let it destroy everything good in my life. But being back here with you..." I pause, struggling for the right words. "It's like I can finally breathe again, Aspen. You reawakened something in me I thought was dead and buried forever—hope for the future. A future we were supposed to build here, together."
Reaching out, I brush the pad of my thumb over the plump swell of her lower lip in a whisper-soft caress. "I'm not that stupid, selfish kid anymore who took the most important person in his life for granted. I'm here, Aspen. All in, if you'll have me."
Aspen stares at me for a suspended moment. Then, without a word, she surges forward and crushes her mouth to mine, all fierceness and need as her fingers knot in the hair at my nape. In one rough tug, I shred the flimsy fabric separating us away, baring Aspen's body to my hungry gaze.
Pulling back, I drink in every gorgeous inch—from the swell of her breasts to the gentle flare of her hips, that rich crimson thatch leading to the molten center I crave like oxygen itself. God, she's so damn beautiful.
“Will you have me, Red?” I ask with every ounce of restraint I can muster.
“Zane…” she breathes, her eyes shining with emotion. “We've always belonged to each other. Always.”
I cup her face in my hands, my voice raw with reverence. "God, Aspen, you have no idea how much I've needed to hear that."
She smiles, a teasing glint in her eyes as she slides her hands down my chest. "And you have no idea how much I need you," she murmurs, and there's a silent plea in her stare that makes something deep inside me unravel.
I can never deny her—not really.
Shifting onto my knees, I blaze a scorching trail down the center of her body with my lips and tongue. Aspen arches into each caress, her back bowing in the most delicious invitation as I map every dip and swell, exploring the valley between her breasts, tasting the salt and sweetness of her skin. I take one rosy nipple into my mouth, suckling gently, my fingers rolling the other pebbled bud.
My lips blaze a path down her stomach, my tongue dipping into her navel before continuing south. I pause at the apex of her thighs, my breath hot against her damp curls. Her scent, musky and sweet, fills my nostrils, driving me wild with need. But this isn't about me, not right now.
This is about Aspen, about showing her just how much she means to me.
I press a soft kiss to her mound before parting her folds with my fingers. I look up at her, our gazes locking as I lower my mouth to her center. The first taste of her on my tongue is a revelation, intoxicating and addictive all at once. I lick her slowly, savoring every drop, listening to the way her breath hitches when I find that sensitive bundle of nerves.
I swirl my tongue around her clit, applying just the right amount of pressure that has her bucking against my face.
"Oh god..." Her fingers tangle in my hair, guiding me, urging me on. I slip a finger inside her, then another, curling them to find that secret spot.
Her thighs quiver against my shoulders as I work her with my mouth and fingers, feeling her walls tighten around me as her orgasm builds. Frantic now, she grinds against my face, chasing that elusive release.
"Zane... oh god, please..."
I suck her clit into my mouth, flicking it with my tongue, and that's all it takes.
