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Since when have you ever trusted Zane? Jack’s words echoed in my mind around Ray’s. That was twice, now, that someone had insisted I shouldn’t trust him. And in fairness, I never had. Evidence was piling up fast, but it still didn’t explain why she was there.
“Do you know how much you’re hurting me?” I rasped. Pushing my fingers through my hair, I took a step back, putting a few extra feet of space between us. Now I was the one needing to breathe. “Do you understand for one second the hell you’re putting me through? I have no idea what to believe, no idea what you believe.”
“You’re hurting me, too.”
“I thought you understood when I explained why I said what I did to Zane. Was any of that real, Ray? Or were you too scared to come clean and tell me the truth?”
“It was real for me,” she insisted.
“Then why were you with him?” I shouted. My anger, my pain, was beginning to boil over. I wasn’t getting enough from her, wasn’t getting what I needed to hear to be done with it. There was nothing that would stop me at that point—not the surprise on her face, not the workers that no doubt could hear us. “Why were you there?”
“I told you already!” she said. “Why didn’t you contact me after the accident? Why didn’t you care if I was okay?”
“Because I was under the fucking impression that you were seeing Hunter!”
“And that means I’m dead to you?”
“It means you had someone there already.” The words came out as a snarl through my bared teeth as I stalked toward her. Her bag hit the ground as I closed the distance, less than a foot of space between us. I could hear her shaky breaths, could see the way her chest rose and fell. “It means that you didn’t want me around.”
“How could you ever think that?” Her words slowly filled with venom. “You honestly think I’m capable of that? I told you, Wade, I went on a drive because I’d fallen right back into your sorry little trap again. I needed to clear my head. I needed to think about what I’d done to myself and how you’d dragged me back into a place you knew damn well would only hurt me. I wasn’t aiming for Hunter’s ranch, you dickhead. He lives off Boulder Canyon for God's sake, it’s a popular road!”
I recoiled just an inch. I wasn’t aware of that, had no idea where his farm was. For all I knew, it was out in the middle of nowhere, not off a major road like Boulder Canyon.
“I’m better on my own,” she mumbled into the silence. “There’s too much at stake to keep going back and forth with you like this.”
My mind spun as I looked down at her. Every perfect curl in its place, every perfect freckle peeking through her makeup. Just observing her was enough to overwhelm me entirely, enough to tighten the rigidness in my chest. I didn’t want to be Tom Buchanan to her, didn’t want to be someone who only brought her pain.
But Daisy didn’t have a happy ending. None of them did.
“What do you mean?” I asked, closing that distance once again. I’d gone soft in a moment of confusion. I’d lost my edge. All I could do was take her face in my hands, relish in the calm for just a moment. “Please, baby, tell me what you mean.”
“Don’t,” she whispered. Her eyes glistened as she turned them from me, every muscle in her body shivering. “Please. I can’t keep doing this. This has to end.”
“If you’re not with him, I don’t want this to end,” I insisted.
“You only want me when I’m useful to you,” she croaked. “You want me when I serve a purpose, whether that’s sex or an investment.”
“That’s not true,” I insisted. “Ray. That isn’t true, I swear it.”
She shook her head in my hands, tears building in her eyes. Mascara mixed with the dampness, pooling in her tear ducts and leaving little streaks by her nose. “Please just stay away from me. I’ll find a new job. I’ll get out of here. I just need you to stay away.”
“I can’t do that,” I mumbled. “I won’t do that. Not when it’s you. I meant every word I said, Ray. I love you, that is real. And I’m not going to stop fighting for that, for us.”
“It’s not real,” she sobbed. Her arms wrapped around her small frame, hugging herself, calming herself, and every gasp of air she took in only broke my heart further. “It’s not real for you.”
“It is real for me.” I fought the rising anger at her insistence. “And if it was for you, too, then I will fight every fucking day until this is fixed.”
Chapter 37
Ray
“How’s the baby?”
I nodded. “Perfectly healthy.”
I didn’t know why exactly I’d agreed to meet with him. If Wade found out, it would only fan his flames. But Hunter had insisted on checking up on me after the crash, said it was his duty, and I preferred to do it somewhere private. So, Boulder’s best third-wave coffee chain would have to do.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t stay longer that night. I had a meeting in the morning, but I wanted to make sure you were alright,” he said, the cup in his hand more for show than for purpose. “I didn’t get the chance to apologize.”
