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Ray
The wind howling through the trees and smacking against the front of my old Toyota was the only sound other than the roaring engine. Above, the lights of Boulder barely hid the stars, and the almost full moon in the distance lit the road in front of me as I drove past the city limits.
I glanced at the clock on my dashboard. Twenty minutes off, so when I did the math, it was just past three in the morning.
I’d let him get to me.
I left him alone in my bed, alone in the empty house with too many ghosts from the past. I’d needed air, space, the lack of his arms around me. Thinking clearly didn’t come easily with him around, and I’d proven to myself just how easily he could fog up my head, convince me of things I didn’t believe, and change the course of my life.
Deep down, I knew there was a chance he was telling me the truth. But I also knew that if I clung to that, I would inevitably get hurt. The overwhelmingly more likely scenario was that he was lying to get me into bed again. I couldn’t put that past him, couldn’t assume better of him.
He was truly the worst kind of man I could have ever fallen for.
He knew how I felt. He knew it was real for me. Using it against me just to get his dick wet… I tightened my hands on the steering wheel, my knuckles nearly white. Being exactly what I’d envisioned, what I’d hoped he was, was his ticket into my goddamn head again. I wondered how many other women had gone through that with him, how many had fallen prey to his manipulative ways and come out the other side burned, or worse, stayed for a while, allowing him to have control over them, constantly vying for his attention.
I wouldn’t be like them. I wasn’t his bunny and I never would be.
Reaching for the volume dial on my console, I twisted it around twice, hoping that whatever CD I’d slammed in there years ago might work this time and drown out the unrelenting thoughts. Nothing happened though, and I made a mental note to take it in to get fixed at some point now that I had some spare cash.
The receding lights of Boulder didn’t faze me as I drove further west. The mountains engulfed the town quickly, leaving nothing but the last bits of snow on the trees shimmering in my rearview mirror. Nature’s reminder that even the harshest of weather will lose its grip eventually made the ache in my chest that much stronger.
I didn’t want to believe there was something better out there. The part of my mind that still longed for him more than I’d ever longed for anyone burned hot, telling me to turn around, to crawl back into bed beside him, to apologize when he inevitably woke and say I’d just gone to the bathroom. My fingers twitched toward the switch of the turn signal, my own body fighting with me and daring me to drive home.
I couldn’t do that, though. I couldn’t see him again.
My breathing slowly started to calm, my heart rate steadied, and my mind ran out of twisting thoughts. Not sure whether it was my head coming back to reality or the feeling of exhaustion creeping over me, I took a deep breath and stared harder at the road, trying to make out where I’d ended up.
A sign to my left flashed in the blink of an eye. Harris Farms. Zane’s friend, Hunter, had mentioned that his family owned ranches in the area. Agriculture, he’d said when I asked him what he did for a living. Harris had been the last name he gave me when I’d pried just a little bit more.
I watched the sign fade from view in my driver’s side mirror, my eyes glued to the way the moonlight cascaded over it, leaves creating dancing shadows across the letters.
Tires screeching, the sound of metal crunching.
My chest slammed into the steering wheel, something snapping inside. Glass shattered. A scream—mine?—echoed in the building smoke. Adrenaline and fear pumped through my veins like a raging fire, melting the snow around me, and—why is it so cold? A chill seeped into my spine, my hands, my feet. Snow covered grass of shimmering white flakes beneath me, little droplets of blood taking up my narrowing vision. Darkness crept in on either side of me, the flickering of two sets of headlights fading, until…
Nothing.
Chapter 34
Wade
The cold sheets beside me were enough to rouse me from sleep quicker than an alarm clock.
“Ray?” I called, reaching over in case she’d rolled away in her sleep. My fingers brushed against her bedside table instead, the bed too small for anyone to go missing, and I sat up within a second.
Did she move to the living room?
I blinked past the haze of sleep and fumbled for my phone. Almost four in the morning if my lock screen was accurate and considering the lack of any light coming through Ray’s deep blue curtains, it tracked.
“Ray?” I repeated, throwing the covers off of me and lifting myself from the cool mattress. Rolling my shoulder to get out the kinks, I flicked the switch for the light, blinding myself in a matter of a second.
No sign of her.
My stomach sank.
Has something happened with her mother? Surely she would have woken me up.
Twisting the old brass doorknob, I made my way into the barely lit hallway that ran behind her kitchen. Photos lined the walls, ones I’d not noticed as I’d taken her to bed last night, and with the little bit of light that came through from her bedroom, I could make out two adults and a child in the one closest to me.
