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He's silent whilst he digests that gem. Idiot.
“Well. I have to say I’m surprised you’re being so nice about everything. And playing ball.”
I shrug so hard I’m sure he can hear it down the phone. “James comes first. So, regardless of anything between you and I, that’s where I’m at. Look, Kell, I’m going to shoot. I’ve got some plans and ideas from the weekend and I want to get them down whilst they’re still fresh in my mind.”
“Well, don’t forget, if you want to come here to relook at anything you’re welcome any time. Even if I’m not here.”
“Brilliant. Yes, that would be good, thanks. See you later, Kell.” I hang up, shaking my head. Talk about egotistical.
Next up—caller number two: Jude. I ring him back to head him off.
“Seen a missed call from you, Brown. What’s up?”
“Just checking in, E. Seeing you all ok?”
“Yes, good thanks. Have you spoken to the others? Is James ok?”
“James’s all good. A big hit.” I hear the smile in his voice. “Jonno called me, said you’re fine.”
Hearing Isobel in the background, asking him if he wants a top up, I decide to be a bitch. “Is that Isobel I hear talking to you?”
“Yes, she’s just here with Bug.”
“How cosy,” I say disparagingly.
He ignores the tone, going on with, “She wanted to speak to you today. Said she wants to apologise for what happened eighteen years ago?”
“Are you her advocate now, Jude?” When he doesn’t say anything, I laugh. “No fucking way in hell am I ever talking to that bitch, so tell her to fuck off for me. Or put her on now and I’ll tell her.”
“I’ll pass the message on,” he says flatly.
I hang up, deciding to ignore the repeated calls from Xander. No way in hell am I talking to him. Or anyone else at that party. Xander starts to leave messages, calling incessantly, sending texts and pictures of the chateau and James. Dream on buddy. But I don’t think he’ll stop, he’ll turn up.
I sit in my derelict courtyard in the middle of my beautiful old factory building. It’s like a balm on my soul. My mind has settled, and I feel like I have a firm grasp on what to do going forward. I’m so proud of myself. Being able to compartmentalise has helped me make a huge decision. I’m still nervous of the steps I’m about to take, and whilst I’m focusing on self preservation, I’m fearful about the fall out from it.
I have to put James first, so I need a believable charade. One that doesn’t affect him but still allows me to put the required distance into play.
I also feel like I’ve made a few decisions around Kellen, and his disciples. I will continue to call him Kellen. I will answer his calls, but no one else’s. I will ruthlessly and totally exclude him, and them, from my life outside of James. And I will be the epitome of polite, even if he gives me a big ‘ick’.
I laugh at the last one as I see it written in my mind. All it’s missing is the ‘D’.
It’s a completely doable plan. My brothers, though? They are a different league altogether. They will take a bit more study. I feel I won’t have long before I see which way the wind is blowing, though.
Isobel and Jude, well, I feel absolutely sick about that one, but also I feel my heart harden. They think Isobel is so innocent, but I know she isn’t. I may drop that bomb when it will cause massive trouble, but do I really want to be that person? I’m not a vindictive, bitter, and twisted woman. I will not allow him to twist me into that. But I will do what I need to, to protect my family. Even if it means breaking hearts along the way.
I love my brothers, but I need to let some of my life go, leaving all of them behind. I need to find myself again, be me—Evie fucking Greystone—for me and my sons.
Kellen will be in the UK from June onwards. I need to sort myself out by then, so plans need to be firmly in play. And start immediately.
I pull out my mobile and call Marshall.
“Midarlin’ how you doin’?”
“Good, Marshall. I need whiskey. Can I come down? I should be there around 9 p.m.”
“You can come anytime, you don’t need permission, midarlin’. You stayin’ here or at the farm?”
“With you, if that’s ok?”
