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“That’s a better apology.” He offered a quick smile. “Forgiven.”
“Wait.” I blinked, prepared to say more. “That was fast.”
“Yeah. The world is too complicated and tough as it is. Why hold onto the small stuff for longer than you need to? We’d never enjoy life then.” He tapped his pen against the side of the chair a few times before he grinned for real. “Why do you look like you’re about to pass out?”
“I don’t.” I sat back and ran a hand over my face. Embarrassment flooded my cheeks, and I kinda wished the auditorium chair would fold in half and take me with it. “Okay, maybe a little.”
“Do you need me to take your vitals, just to be sure?”
Damn. His voice dropped an octave, and my breath caught in my throat. He was teasing me. I knew that, yet the slight variation had me blushing even harder. I cleared my throat.
“I’m messing with you, Hawthorne. It’s too easy. Probably because you hate me, but I can give you shit without really worrying about it. Its freeing, tbh.”
He finally faced the stage. My whole body relaxed without his stare, and I caught my breath. There was something about Theo that unnerved me. The way he oozed charm, the fact my entire opinion of him felt wrong after meeting him, or the way he actually saw me. The combination of all three made me dizzy, yet instead of walling myself off more, I wanted to explain it to him.
“Confrontation makes me insanely nervous. My pulse races, and my stomach cramps, and I didn’t like that I hurt your feelings yesterday. I wanted to apologize for that, but then I said we hated each other, and you seemed upset again. I’m not used to being an asshole.” There. I said it. I stared at a spot near the lectern that had a smudge from a shoe, even though I could feel Theo’s attention on my face. “Then you forgave me so easily it threw me off guard.”
“Do you need me to be madder at you?”
“Yes, I deserve it.”
“Well, in that case, fuck you, Hawthorne.”
I snorted. It was a honking sound that escaped before I could stop it. I covered my mouth with my hand, chuckling at the unexpected comment from Theo. His grin matched mine, and he nudged my elbow with his.
“It’s nice seeing you laugh. Super sexy snort, by the way.”
Damn it. I laughed again. “No, you can’t be funny. It’s not allowed.”
“Ah, didn’t realize. Sorry, I’ll work on that. I’ll add it to my list right now. Be less funny because Hawthorn snorts like a hyena.”
My stomach did another weird flip thing, this time a little more pleasant than the others. Theo was charming.
“Dude, Sanders! I can’t believe you’re on our hockey team now. I am obsessed with college hockey, and your stats are sick! I know people will have feelings about Quentin being out, but dude, you are better.” Peter, one of the fellow classmates in our cohort, put his hand on Theo’s shoulder on the other side.
And snap. There went any medium-warm feelings I had toward Theo. Better than Quentin. What the hell?
The rush returned to my ears. I couldn’t sit here and listen to them talk hockey when my brother was miserable and off the ice and I had to work twice as many jobs to save up just in case he lost his scholarship. Because of Theo fucking Sanders.
I wasn’t super religious, but I had to piss off a god somewhere to be paired with him. For the whole semester? Yeah. No.
I grabbed my bag and got up, needing distance from him. I found a spot three rows up, and I ignored any tingling feelings that he watched me. He could stare all he wanted. Peter had reminded me of the truth. Theo had gone after my brother during a game and intentionally hurt him.
That wasn’t anyone I could associate with.
Fired up, I emailed Professor Aldridge to see if there was any chance of changing partners for clinicals. There wasn’t really a professional way to beg, so I kept it short and to the point. She knew me. She also understood my relationship with my brother and what his injury had done to me.
I cracked my knuckles and barely paid attention to the professor going over the clinical schedule. We’d receive them in email and blah, blah. I’d been ready for this year since I started. I just wanted to learn and not have to deal with all the complications of Theo Sanders.
Not even fifteen minutes went by before Professor A emailed me back.
Audrey,
You and Theo are suited perfectly to be paired. Trust me on this. Looking forward to our coffee chat next week—hope week one has been fun.
--A
Well, there went my last hope. She never changed her mind. I glanced up to glare at Theo and found him staring back at me, the line between his brows deepening in concern. How dare he look concerned?
