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“Mm, I like hearing that. Tell me how you feel about me again.”
“I love you.” She swallowed, and her cheeks turned pink. “I’ve never said it to anyone else before you, and it’s a lot. That’s a huge emotion for me. But I truly love you, and none of the reasons have to do with hockey even though it’s amazing watching you play.”
I pushed a piece of her hair behind her ear and sighed in complete content. All the worry disappeared. We were okay. We’d be okay. “So, about that living together thing…”
27
May, post-graduation
Audrey
I stood in the center of the quad, staring at the library and nursing buildings. Central State had been good to me. I didn’t get the college experience shown in movies or TV shows, but I had one unique and good to me. I was set to take my NCLEX-RN exams in a few months and had applied to the traveling nursing agency. With our clinicals in the ICU, I focused on that space to specialize in. It had the chaos and fires that I thrived in. Once I heard back from the agency, I’d have to see if the states I could live in would take my license. Not all of them participated in the Nurse Licensure Compact. Theo would head to training camps this summer in Minnesota, where he’d either make the Acorns full roster or play in their farm system in Iowa.
Wherever he ended up, I’d go. Smiling, I enjoyed the feel of the sun on my skin, warming me up. If it weren’t for this place, I wouldn’t have met Theo. I wouldn’t have fallen in love with him and his family, and I certainly wouldn’t have fixed my relationship with Quentin.
Speaking of my brother…
“Congrats, Audrey.” He held a huge bouquet of flowers, all yellow and purple, and handed them to me with a bag. “It’s a new pair of scrubs, only there are hockey pucks on them.”
“Couldn’t wait for me to open it?” I snorted. “Thank you. This is kind.”
“You’re done with this place. That’s wild to think about. And you’re going to be traveling with Sanders. We haven’t been that far apart before, Auds.” His mouth was turned down in a frown, and his eyes were sad.
“You’re totally going to miss me.” I punched his shoulder and got him to laugh. We’d hung out often after our showdown last fall. We actually liked each other. We were into similar things, and I even got to know his friends. “We can FaceTime once a week, and you know you can always visit.”
“Do you know where you’re going to live yet?” He scratched his head. “There’s an extra spot in the hockey house that’s always open.”
“No, thank you.” I’d rather eat glass. I kept that comment to myself but appreciated the offer. It was genuine, which was so different than how we used to be. “We found an apartment in St. Paul to rent for the summer. I still don’t have my license to practice there yet, so I might be here just to work. His dad offered Theo’s room at the house, which might be nice.”
“His family is awesome.”
That was the other amazing part about this past year. Quentin had sort of been adopted into the Sanders household, where he had come over to join Theo and I for dinners. Daniel thought he was hilarious, which went straight to his head. I also liked the idea of Em, Daniel, and Penny having an extra set of hands around if needed. Em would be attending Central State next year, living on campus, so she was close if Daniel or Penny needed her, but she deserved to have fun, not be a parent. Not like Theo and I had to deal with.
That was the one thing I wasn’t excited about: leaving the Sanders kids. Leaving them felt like missing a part of my heart, but Quentin promised to check in on them. Plus, Theo’s mom was almost ready to come home. She showed vast improvement and had really grown during therapy.
She was even planning on flying out to visit us this summer. I couldn’t wait.
“I’m gonna miss this place. Dad would’ve loved coming here.” I sighed, and Quentin pulled me into a half hug. It was the anniversary of his death this week, and it seemed so fitting. Like life had gone full circle. I was a shell of a person when that had happened, and now I had so much more joy.
“He’d be so proud of you. I am. I’m really fucking proud of you.” Quentin cleared his throat and released me. Emotions were still hard for him, for us, but we were getting better. Still awkward though.
I never asked about our mom, but Quentin hinted she was going to therapy to work through some things. That made me proud of her, but it didn’t change the fact my life was so much better without contact from her. One day, if she worked on herself, we could talk, but that was ways away. My family had tripled this year with Theo and his family, and with Quentin back as my friend, I was good.
The guilt of letting my dad down ate at me from time to time, but Theo always talked me through the feelings and agreed cutting people off could be the right choice.
“Thank you. I do think Dad would be proud right now, but I’m proud of both of us.” The sun disappeared behind the clouds just as my phone buzzed.
Theo: Where ya at, babe? Thought we were leaving in ten minutes?
Audrey: Meet you at the car in five.
“We’re heading out now.” My own throat closed up, the weight of saying goodbye hitting me harder than I expected. My future was with Theo, but this was my brother. The person who’d been in my life the most.
“You get everything packed okay?” Quentin and I both stared at different buildings and not each other. “How long of a drive is it?”
“About twelve hours. I found a podcast on the latest nursing?—”
“Boring.” He chuckled and pulled me into a bear hug. “I’m gonna fucking miss you. Damn. I wanted to hold it together.”
