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“But do they leave each other?” Her lip trembled. “Do they keep things from each other, like I did to you?”
“No. They don’t.” I ran a hand through my hair and sighed. “I’m not your brother or mom or dad, hon. You can’t lie to protect me like you did for them. You’re not my caretaker or responsible for my emotions. You’re my partner, so I need an equal.”
She nodded, and tears spilled over. “I’m sorry I lied to you. I’m so sorry. I was worried it mess with your game or you’d be upset since you and your dad were getting close again.”
“It did mess with my game.” I took her hand and this time, she let me. That was a relief. “I played like shit because I was worried about what you were keeping from me.”
She closed her eyes as her jaw trembled even more. “I shouldn’t have lied to you. I’m sorry, Theo.”
“I shouldn’t have stormed off like I did either.” My voice was raspy, raw. “You were trying to protect me in your own way, and I know that had to be hard. But I’m telling you now, I need you to share everything with me. No more hiding to protect feelings.”
“Okay.” She swallowed loud and met my eyes.
“And I won’t leave you. If I’m mad, I’ll be mad with you, and we can talk it out. I let my temper from the game and anger at my dad and you all blur together. I’m sorry for that.”
“It’s okay. It’s totally okay.”
“Audrey, I plan to be with you forever, so no, it’s not okay. You should call me an ass for walking away instead of talking it out.”
“Forever?” Her eyes bugged out.
“We had our first real argument, which happens with couples. But you and me? Baby, we’re it.” I smiled, all the parts of my soul settling into place.
She opened her mouth but closed it. Uncertainty clouded her eyes.
Quentin’s warning that it would be tough flashed in my mind, and I was willing to lay it all on the table. I had no ego here. I just wanted Audrey. Never thought I’d thank that punk ass, but I owed him for saving this. She expected people to leave her, and I’d followed the pattern. Not anymore.
“Auds, I love you. I fucking love you so much it’s all I think about most of the time. There are two places I feel at home. On the ice and when I’m with you. I should’ve told you that a month ago when I realized it.” I kissed her wrist, noting her pulse raced as fast as mine. Her expressive eyes stared back at me, wide and filled with hope. That hope was something I vowed to never kill.
“You love me,” she whispered, her voice watery and filled with emotion. “You love me?”
I nodded, a grin splitting my face. “Yes, baby. I do.”
She closed her eyes as a huge fat tear fell down her cheek. I wiped it with my thumb, and she leaned her head into my hand. “I love you, you know. So much. Too much. It terrifies me.”
“It scares me too, Auds, but it’s you and me. It always will be. Come here.”
She walked around the table and sat on my lap, wrapping her arms around me. She smelled like vanilla and home. I breathed her in and rested my chin on her head, my heart finally settling down from all the worry. “I’m sorry I hurt you, Theo. I’d rather hurt myself than you. I know that’s not healthy, but I haven’t had a lot of normal relationships. I’ll learn and be better for you.”
Her voice cracked and was muffled against my chest. The pain in her words hurt me because she meant it. She truly, without a doubt, meant what she said, and I hugged her tighter. “Baby, I?—”
She lifted her head and stared into my eyes. “I will never lie to you or keep things from you again. And will always pick you first.”
My heart swelled. “I like the sound of that. And I will never walk away mad again. We’ll talk it out.”
“You also feel like my home, Theo. For someone who hasn’t had one in years, it’s the most reassuring, safest feeling in the world, and I’ll do whatever I can to protect it. If that means living in Minnesota with you, then I will. If it means doing distance until we figure stuff out, I will. I always thought my future was just surviving, but since you came into my life, I have new hopes.”
“Yeah, like what?” I ran my hand up and down her back, so fucking happy we’d worked through this.
“Living together. Wearing your jersey to games. Being with you all the time.”
“Mm, yeah, I really like hearing that. We could also travel together, do all the things we wanted to in my off season.” I played with the ends of her hair and loved how she hummed in response.
“We could take your siblings, too.” She beamed and my heart damn well beat out of my chest. She would think of my siblings. She was perfect.
“So glad I got paired with you this semester, Auds. Feels like my life finally makes sense.” I kissed her softly, letting my lips linger. I tasted happiness again, and I’d protect it at all costs.
She shuddered and dug her hands into my sides. “I feel so safe with you,” she whispered.
