Page 85 of Through the Ice


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Was she alone in her room right now? My gut churned.

“You called me out when I was being an idiot, and you were right. But now, as your teammate and the brother of the girl you’re with, I’m calling you out. Get out of your head. Get over this. This is forgivable. You’d be fucking stupid to let this ruin whatever you had because I can tell you for sure, my sister has never been this happy. Being in Audrey’s life is a gift, Theo. Don’t ruin it.”

“I kinda wanna punch you in the face,” I mumbled.

“Yeah, well right back at you. But my sister matters more than my feelings toward you, so if you hit me, I won’t hit you back.”

Damn. Quentin’s words sobered me up real fast. This punk ass kid who was unbearable to be around like two months ago was showing more maturity than me. I kept thinking about Audrey in her room, curled in bed crying, and it physically upset me. She was protecting me in her own way. It made sense. I had to find her.

I never handled loss well when I didn’t perform to my standard. Hockey was my escape, my future, so when I let something get in my head and fuck with my game, I lashed out. The loss and the lie blended together.

A new fear gripped me. Audrey always assumed the worst when we disagreed, and she’d never had a relationship, so she didn’t know arguing was normal. Maybe I shouldn’t have stormed off, but I’d needed to collect my thoughts. And fuck, if Quentin wasn’t helpful.

“I gotta go talk to her.” I stood.

“Yeah, you do.” Quentin’s face was grim. “It’ll be tough, okay? She carries more burden and guilt than anyone else. But please don’t hurt her.”

My eye twitched. “I never have, Quentin.”

“You did tonight.” He shoved his hands in his pockets. “Good luck.”

He walked away, leaving me to my own fucked up thoughts that didn’t feel good. You did tonight. Why did that sentence cause a physical pain to shoot through me? I hadn’t hurt her. I was just upset. I was mad at her.

But she’s flighty. She’d always looked for ways out, and I gave her the perfect one. She was probably convincing herself we were over. I didn’t want that. Fuck. I really didn’t. I loved seeing her at the game. Hell, she was my person.

I loved her. I loved the hell out of her. So why had I run?

Goddamn it.

I ran my hands through my hair, pulling on the ends. Had I misplaced my anger at my dad to her, like she was the one cheating? Maybe. Or was it the fact my dad lied and kept things from me and my mom, so her lying felt like a betrayal? Throw in the loss of the game, and man, I was a mess.

I jogged toward her dorm as Quentin’s comment hit me again. She hated confrontation. I’d seen it firsthand, yet she’d done it to protect me. Fuck I was an asshole.

I needed to talk to her right fucking now. I had to. The longer I waited, the harder it would be to convince her we were okay. It was only ten pm, and someone left her dorm as I snuck in.

Banging on her door, I waited. “Audrey, can we talk?”

No answer.

I pressed my ear against the wood, listening for the shower or sniffles or the TV. It was silent. “Audrey, baby, are you in there?”

Nothing.

Okay, where the hell was she?

I texted her, but the message wasn’t delivered. What the fuck?

Had something happened to her? Oh my god. No, Quentin said he walked her to her dorm, but she wasn’t in her dorm now. That was an hour ago. Was her phone off? Why though?

My body felt like it was falling through ice, not balanced or coordinated. My chest pinched, and sweat covered my skin as a million scenarios raced through my mind. She was hurt. She went to a party without me. She was with another guy. She left town. She moved.

Each one was more absurd than the next. I needed to be logical.

Audrey was upset. Where would she go when upset?

The library.

The answer came to me fast, and I took off toward there. I shot off another text to her in case she turned her phone on. I’ll come to you, baby. I’m sorry.

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