Page 84 of Through the Ice


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Theo

I was fucking angry.

Anger and adrenaline went hand in hand, and the energy leftover from the game combined with the mad. Audrey lied to me. She had kept information about my dad from me and told me nothing was wrong. I knew something was off before the game, and it bothered me the whole time. I let her lie throw me off my game, and I’d played like shit.

I couldn’t do that again, not in the NHL. I couldn’t let Audrey affect my game, and I had. All because of my fucking father.

He was cheating again. She knew. She didn’t hadn’t told me.

It hurt. I couldn’t have a girlfriend who lied to me. And Audrey was just so damn genuine I hadn’t expected it. It hurt. It fucking hurt to feel betrayed like that. And she knew how hard I was working to forgive my dad. So to lie for him when I was trying to like him again felt even worse. She should’ve told me. We could’ve handled it together. But no.

Fuck. My chest ached.

I walked toward the hockey house, desperate to find something to do instead of going to Audrey’s dorm or home. Hell, I didn’t want to see either Audrey or my dad, so I could crash at the house. Maybe have a few drinks and work through these fucked up emotions.

God, I was a mess. I’d played like shit, and all the trust I’d built up with Audrey and my dad was gone. I rubbed my hands over my eyes as I walked in. A few of the younger guys were already there, cups in hand and music blaring. I poured a beer and sat on the couch, my leg bouncing up and down with the unshed adrenaline. Girls showed up, dancing on each other and searching for their newest hookup. One eyed me, and I shook my head, ending whatever notion she had going on in her mind.

I was pissed and betrayed, but I wasn’t an asshole.

My phone buzzed, and foolishly, I hoped it was Audrey. I wanted her apologizing. I wanted her to say something to make this better so I could just go to her dorm. Because even though I had a drink and was around everyone, I fucking felt alone and only wanted her.

Dad: please don’t be mad at Audrey. She was thinking about you. It was also my new therapist. If you need to be mad, be mad at me. Not the girl who was trying to protect you.

A new therapist?

Did I believe him?

I did. He told me he was searching for one to help him work through the changes in Mom. I’d never shared that with Audrey because it slipped my mind. I tried not talking about him with her because it brought me down, but if I’d told her, would she have done this?

Wait. Protect me? My dad was on her side. That was confusing as fuck. A part of me liked that he was protecting her. She was amazing, but then the loss of the game and her blatant lie soured my thoughts.

“Scoot over.”

I glanced up and found Quentin staring at me with a different expression. He seemed upset. I didn’t move one inch. I didn’t wanna deal with him today. Unless something had happened to his sister?

“Is she okay?” I asked, voice dry as a desert.

“You mean after I walked her home so she wouldn’t be alone? Or after you made her sob?” His words were sharp.

Fuck me. The pain in my gut intensified. She shouldn’t be upset at me. She would feel guilty. “I?—”

“Sanders, we’ve had a fucking journey together this semester, but let me make a few things clear. I figured out you two are together, and honestly, I dig it. My sister needs someone to take care of her and be there for her because no one else in her fucking life does. Everyone abandoned her, and I’m working on making that right. You can’t be someone who leaves her too.”

My jaw tightened as his words washed over me. I knew all this. Of course I knew and hated it. My hand clenched with the urge to punch him. “I didn’t do anything wrong, Quentin. She kept something from me.”

“About what?”

“Doesn’t matter. She lied, and that’s not fine with me.”

“No. It does matter. Because Audrey will lie if she thinks she’s protecting someone she loves. Given the choice to hurt or upset someone she cares about or hide the truth, she will hide it every time. She hid my dad’s symptoms for years because they upset me. She told me it was fine or just a normal appointment so I could keep playing hockey normally. I had no idea my dad was barely hanging on. So yeah. She lies for good reasons, so I’m gonna ask you again. Why did she lie?”

I was gonna tear this pillow to shreds. His words made sense. They fit Audrey perfectly. She’d protect those she loved. But that clashed with my angry feelings about her and how her lie made me play like shit. “She hid something my dad did and confronted him in hopes of hiding it from me. Then, I played like shit.”

“Okay, we all have bad games. It’s a marathon, not a sprint. But that’s not what matters here. She confronted your dad? Are you fucking with me right now?” Quentin glared at me. “Audrey cannot stand confrontation. It makes her throw up. Just think about how hard that had to be for her to confront your dad? She had to be shaking with nerves, and she did it to protect you. To shield you. And you left her? Just walked away without a word? Fuck you, Sanders. You’re a better man than that, and Audrey deserves better.”

Quentin’s arguments made my stomach sour, and guilt clawed at me. Audrey totally hated confrontation. She cried for hours after she confronted her brother, and I was there for her then.

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