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“Why do I feel like I’m losing a part of you?” He shook his head, his jaw flexing. “Can you please join us for dinner? Daniel and Penny would be so happy. Em might even stay home if she knew you were coming. I know it’s not fun or exciting, but it’s the only thing I can offer, and I feel like we need to talk.”
“Need to talk?”
I blinked. That sounded like a breakup. But we weren’t together-together, right?
“Oh shit. Shit. No! Not…” He laughed and yanked me against his chest. “I need to leave before I ruin everything. Your sad face is brutal, and it’s making me ramble like an idiot. I meant I want to hang out with you. Talk. See you. Kiss you. Will you please come over for dinner?”
This time, he hugged me like he needed me. I enjoyed his siblings a lot, and the other choice was to be in my room alone. My phone buzzed in my pocket again, and even though I knew it was unlikely, Quentin could try and stop by. I wasn’t ready for that, so yeah, going to Theo’s family’s house was the better option.
“Okay, I’ll come over.”
His relief was instant. His muscles relaxed, and the pang in my chest loosened. Maybe I wasn’t the only one unsure of what we were. “Thank you. Thank you.”
“Can we maybe talk about what we even are? I’m struggling with it,” I whispered into his chest. “I don’t know the rules, and because I don’t have guidelines, I’m nervous and unsure.”
“Baby, yes.” He chuckled softly, the rumble of his chest vibrating my face. “Happy to talk this through with you. Whatever you need to feel better.”
Every time he said baby, my insides did a flip-flop.
“Do you want to spend the night tonight?” He cupped my chin, and his blue eyes sparkled down at me. “We could drive to clinicals together.”
A bolt of heat went through me. I wanted more cuddles, more exploding of our bodies. Even the thought of it had me clearing my throat. His grin widened, like he knew where my thoughts were going. I nodded. “Yeah, that sounds good.”
“Wear the sexy bra, please.”
I snorted at his haggard voice, and his eyes softened. “There she is. My Auds is back. I love that fucking snort.”
The endless swooping feeling returned, and instead of being self-conscious, I liked his attention. “I’ll think about it.”
“Please.” He pressed his lips to mine once, then twice. “Mm, I want to kiss you more, but you’ll be late. I can swing by your dorm after I pick up my siblings?”
“Yeah. That sounds… great.” I smiled and tried not to think about the tingling sensation all over my body. All from a promise, from a kiss. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“Just being you.”
“Might be the nicest thing anyone’s said to me.” He winked and slowly stepped back. “See you later, baby.”
This would be the third time we spent the night together, and an explosion of nerves blasted through me, causing my stomach to flutter. This was big. Good. Amazing.
I just couldn’t let anything get in the way.
That meant continuing to ignore my brother and mom, push the hurt away and enjoy my time with Theo…while it lasted.
18
Theo
Reiner: Let’s check in tomorrow morning after your 9am class. I’ll have coffee.
Theo: You got it, Coach.
I pocketed my phone and ignored the growing tension in my gut. I hadn’t made progress with Quentin at all. If anything, I despised the kid. Pretty much thought him hopeless.
Anyone can change given the right motivation. That was a mom-ism that hit me out of nowhere. She’d know what to do about this punk ass. She’d have ideas and would brainstorm with me to help him out. She believed in people, where I did not.
“Why are raccoons the way they are?” Daniel asked Audrey as we sat around the kitchen table. Irritation gripped me as I realized yet again our dad wasn’t home. This shit was getting old. This was beyond me helping out and instead was me doing everything. Dinner ended an hour ago, and both Penny and Daniel kept asking Audrey a million and one questions. None that were relevant to a) their life, b) their homework, or c) the conversation.
