Page 33 of Through the Ice


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His jaw flexed, and I forced myself to focus on the trees right outside the entrance. We stood there, my hand in his, and I removed it. It was silly that I felt… connected to him. I was one of many for him, and I knew that. It wasn’t rude, but it was the truth.

I knew better than to hope for anything. I fucking knew better, but the hurt still worked its way in my chest, and I wanted to be alone. Maybe it was the leftover betrayal of Quentin changing our friendship or not caring about me anymore. It was a one-sided relationship, and it wasn’t fair to channel that energy onto Theo.

“How was the procedure?” I asked, moving my legs to force myself to walk. Outside air always felt good after being in here all day. It smelled fresher. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath and already felt the tension leaving my body. I was okay. I had me, and that had to be enough.

“Audrey, can you pause for a minute, please?”

“Pause?” My heart raced. I didn’t want to unpack my hurt. He wouldn’t understand. I could never say how I truly felt, ever. Not after my dad got sick because I had to be the tough one for my mom and Quentin.

“You’re seconds away from bolting or coming up with a reason why you have to leave, and I’d really like five minutes of your time.”

“Okay.” I shrugged and shoved my hands in the pockets of my scrubs. “What is it? Was the procedure tough to watch? I’ve never seen anything cardiac related, but it seems interesting.”

“I hurt you.” He rubbed his lips together and regret crossed his features. “I’m really sorry. If I was waiting for you, and you didn’t show, it’d upset me too.”

That annoying, thick emotional feeling formed in my throat again. No. I needed it gone. No one ever apologized to me, I didn’t even know what to do with it. I pushed it away. “It’s okay, Theo. I said that.”

“But it’s not? You’re lying. Your body language gives you away, and I really fucking like our friendship. I’d hate to mess it up.”

“You didn’t.”

“Audrey, you’re killing me right now.” He placed his hands on his hips and groaned. “Be mad at me. Push back. Tell me what you’re thinking.”

I couldn’t do that. Not really. It didn’t matter. Not to him. I tried with my mom, and she accused me of being selfish. I knew better. “There’s nothing to push back on. I’m just tired.”

His nostrils flared as he studied me before his shoulders sagged. “I hate that you don’t let me in. I want you honest with me, that’s all. I’ll work on being a better friend.”

“You’re fine?—”

“If you say fine or okay one more time, I’m gonna lose my mind.”

We stared, the tension thick as I thought about the kiss again. This was not the right time to remember how his mouth felt against mine, but it happened, and damn.

His phone went off, ruining the moment. “Please don’t leave.” He grabbed my wrist gently. “We’re not done, but this is my sister.”

“Hey, Em.” He kept his eyes on me, but they widened with worry. “What? Where are you? Is Jace there? What about Penny? Fuck. Okay. Okay. I’ll be there. Yeah. Uh, fuck. Text me your location now.”

His tone was urgent. Frantic.

His gaze found mine, and panic oozed out of him.

“What is it?” I asked, fight or flight kicking in. “What happened?”

“Em has a flat tire on the side of the freeway. I have the car seat to pick up Penny in thirty minutes in the opposite direction. Daniel needs to be picked up from school in twenty minutes. Em was gonna help but can’t. She’s freaking out.” He gripped his hair. “What the fuck are they gonna do when I’m gone?”

“Hey. One step at a time. What is the most urgent?

“Emily.” He swallowed. “She can’t change a tire. Doesn’t know how.”

“Okay. Then we go there with her. You change it for her and get your siblings. I’ll stay with her if you want me to. I can drive her back or just be an ear.”

“Yeah. Okay. Are you… Audrey, you don’t… this isn’t your?—”

“Let’s go. Do you need me to drive?”

Theo’s hands fisted for a beat before he shook his head. “No, I need to focus on something.”

“Then come on.”

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