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“You’re so dramatic.” He laughed, and something muffled came over the phone. “I was caught up with something for the team. Plus, you’re just going to the library anyway, right? Sorry I didn’t text you. I figured it’d be okay. I didn’t mean to leave you hanging, Audrey. Promise.”
Quentin always toyed with the line of right and wrong. He said the words sorry and I didn’t mean to, but they didn’t ring with genuineness. His usual aggressive voice shifted to kinder, a sign he wasn’t lying. But my feelings were hurt, and he wouldn’t care. He’d joke it off, and I wasn’t prepared to handle that today.
“Alright.” I shifted in my seat at the coffee shop. “Hope the team stuff went well.”
“It did, thanks, yeah.” His voice softened. “My guys are helping me deal with the fact Sanders is on the team. Coach is having him mentor me, which is ridiculous. The fucking nerve of Reiner doing that. I have a plan though, don’t worry. Sanders is gonna regret ever coming to this school.”
“I need to go.” My voice cracked, and my stomach dropped in a horrible, falling-through-frozen-lake bad way. Hearing him be so cruel about Theo physically hurt me. My brother had no idea Theo had siblings depending on him.
I still didn’t know why he was taking care of his siblings, but I saw the love between them. The trust. How could Quentin think about retaliation? That was what his anger was about, wasn’t it?
“Don’t be mad, Auds. I’ll make it up to you, I promise. Want me to find you at the library?”
“No. I have plans. I need to go, Quentin.” I hung up, rubbed my temple, and took a few deep breaths. I loved my brother. I did. It was just us for so many years, and he was achieving his dream, minus the whole injury thing. It was easier to remain quiet and let Quentin enjoy being young, while I was forced to deal with the aftermath of sickness and death. If I had to be an adult and I could protect my brother, I’d do it in a heartbeat.
Yet, his behavior was worsening, and confronting him wasn’t something I’d ever do. He’d twist my words or guilt trip me, and it would further deepen the divide between us. How could I isolate myself even more? If I truly lost Quentin, I’d have no one left. That devastated me.
I chewed my lip, the horrible, lonely feeling weighing me down to the point I slid in my chair. These moments would come fast and hard but only linger for a few minutes. I’d let myself wallow before snapping out of it.
Yes, I envisioned a different life. I used to dream about having a group of best friends and a family that smiled and laughed together. But that wasn’t the hand I’d been dealt, so I had to stick to the plan, or I’d completely derail. Exhaling, I silenced my phone even though no one would call me.
I had a few study buddies who’d agreed to meet tomorrow evening, so it was me and my thoughts and my homework keeping my company. My favorite table in the library was tucked back in the corner, out of view and pretty quiet. I liked the scents here, old books and coffee. The combination reminded me of going to a diner with my dad. We’d do our daddy-daughter time there where he’d let me try coffee without telling mom, and we’d eat dessert for lunch. He’d be proud of me right now. He’d encourage me to keep going. He’d know I was doing my best with Quentin and Mom.
“Audrey?”
A familiar, deep voice pulled me from my memory. My stomach somersaulted at the interruption and at the fact Theo stood in front of me with a plate of cookies.
“Hey.” Theo smiled, the gesture familiar and pleasant. He brushed his hair off his forehead as he jutted his chin toward the chair across form me. “Can I join you?”
“Sure, yeah, okay.” My words blurred together as surprise took over. Theo was at the library, in my spot. Seeing him caused a flurry of weird feelings in my chest and stomach as I thought about his emails.
He hadn’t meant the comment, cruelly at least, about me being no fun, but he was correct. I wasn’t. Yet, there was something about him that pulled me toward him, wanting to dig deeper and ask questions.
“These are thank you cookies. I wasn’t sure what your favorite was, so my siblings and I made four different types. Not from scratch though. I’m not that talented.” He chuckled, but the tips of his ears reddened, almost like he was self-conscious.
Why would Theo be embarrassed at all?
“Thank you,” I mumbled, my own face heating as he slid the plate over. No one in my entire life brought me dessert, except for my dad. Man, two memories of him in such a short time. I missed him so much it hurt to breathe sometimes. I had to get my emotions under wraps. “You didn’t have to do this?—”
“Yes, I did.” His tone had a bossy edge to it. His intense hazel eyes bore into mine, and I wished, probably for the first time ever, to know what he was thinking. If he saw me as a dork in a library, who was no fun at all.
“You see, you continue doing nice things for me yet are determined to keep me at a distance. I get why. I injured your brother.” His jaw flexed, and his gaze moved toward the left instead of my face.
My stomach dropped just thinking about Quentin and his comment to me. It was the ultimate betrayal to tell Theo my brother was planning something. Yet, I could warn him. Somehow. Without breaking Quentin’s trust. “Uh, are you and uh, Quentin okay?”
He barked out a humorless laugh. The muscles along his forearm flexed as he met my eyes. This time, there was no softness present. “Do you think we are? No. Of course we aren’t. The dude is determined to get me back for taking him out. And Reiner not only named me captain this year, but he wants me to mentor your brother.”
I winced. That was a terrible idea for so many reasons. “What?”
“Yeah.” He pressed his lips together and reached for a cookie. “I’m digging into the sugar cookie. Pen chose the sprinkles, but stop me now if you want this one.”
I shook my head, watching the way his teeth came down on the dessert. He had great teeth. White, straight, probably had braces when he was younger. I expected a missing tooth or something from all the roughhousing he did on the ice, but no, Theo had a great smile with no missing teeth.
“Do I have something on my face?”
“Oh. No.” I swallowed, my skin buzzing from getting caught mid-stare.
“Then why are you staring at my mouth like that?” His tone held no accusations or innuendo, just curiosity. I mean hell, why would Theo ever think I’d look at him with anything but disdain?
