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“You don't have to apologize, Bennet. We're together now. That's all that matters. And I knew, simply by the way you kissed me before you left, how you felt about me.”
“I acted like a dick, tried to pretend that I didn't care or wasn't affected by you. I actively avoided you because I was worried that I would lose control.”
“What did you think would happen if you lost control?”
“I don't know…that I could hurt you, or push you away.”
She scrunches her face, a little v forming between her eyebrows. “What exactly could you do to hurt me or push me away?”
“I have, or had, some…proclivities. They might not be entirely normal.”
“Like what?” Her eyes narrow with interest, and I also notice her nipples bead beneath her camisole, the thin material leaving nothing to the imagination.
Hesitating, I bide my time by tracing my finger along the strap of the cotton top. The skin of her shoulder is hot beneath my touch.
“Bennet,” she whispers. “Tell me.”
“I like control, in all things. It gives me pleasure to bend you to my will, both inside and outside the bedroom. From the things you eat, to what you wear, to how and when you are allowed to cum.”
Her eyes darken, clouding with lust as she listens and absorbs my words. Her cheeks flush, and she presses her thighs together.
“And you wanted all this before?”
“Desperately, but I sometimes feel that I deserve to withhold pleasure from myself, or punish myself for not being able to rid myself of thoughts or feelings that aren't productive. But more than anything, I don't want to hurt you. I didn't then and I don't now.”
“In what way could you hurt me?”
“What if I lost control? What if I went too far? Or worse, what if I liked it? It disgusts me that I want these things, considering the type of man my father was. The things I witnessed him do.” I close my eyes, because I don't want to see her reaction to my truth.
Her voice comes out strong, domineering almost. “Bennet, look at me.”
My gaze meets hers. Her light eyes are darkened, pupils dilated.
“I am a big girl. I can take care of myself, and I'm certainly capable of telling you when I don't like something. So…show me.”
Blood rushes through my veins as my pulse quickens. “Show you what?”
“Show me something you might have wanted but wouldn't let yourself have.” Her tongue darts out to wet her lips.
Was she this sure of herself before?
I suppose ‘Carpe diem’ is my new motto, so I do as she asks. Pulling her closer to me, I kiss her deeply and passionately, relishing every soft stroke of her tongue against mine. It takes a few flicks of my wrists to rid her of her camisole and shorts, baring her to me.
Standing and turning us around, I lift her by the waist and set her on the desk. I may be weak, and she has definitely put on weight beautifully, but she is still tiny compared to me. And I'll be damned if I let her worry about me when all she should be focusing on is what I do to her body.
My lips trail over her jaw, the shell of her ear, and down her neck, murmuring against her skin. I take this opportunity to tell her everything I wished I'd had the chance to tell her when I thought I'd never see her again.
“I can't tell you how many times I would sit at my desk and fantasize about having you here. It would distract me, and that felt like weakness. I was angry at myself for being weak, but when I was taken away from you, I realized that the real weakness was not being brave enough to go for what I wanted, to tell you how you affected me.”
Her eyes gaze up at me with lust and emotion.
“When I was in that place, I would replay every single moment we had together. And then I would imagine how I would change it. So that instead of acting aloof and unaffected, I would show you how much you mean to me. Instead of ignoring you and focusing on my work, I'd take you on my desk and focus on making you mine.”
Getting down on my knees, I kneel before the goddess in front of me, bowing to kiss her feet. Trailing my lips over her ankles and up her calves, I worship her the way I should have from the beginning.
“I will never take you for granted again, Six. I'll never think of you as a vulnerability again, because it was my love for you that kept me strong, that kept me alive. You are everything good in this world, and I still don't believe that I'll ever deserve you—but I'll take you anyway. Because I know now what it feels like to have you gone from my life. I'll take you anyway I can have you, anyway you will give yourself to me.”
My lips reach the apex of her thighs and she instinctively opens for me. Sitting propped up on the edge of my desk, her legs spread wide, panting for me…She's never looked more beautiful.
