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Rain poured, pounding heavily on my windshield, also interrupting the music I put on to calm me. Speedy wipers shoved it from my view as the car rolled to a stop.
The murky tones of the house ahead seemed deeper, darker than when I was here last, sneaking in and taking Feebee as she slept. Ironically, that was how I would return her.
My eyes veered to her—asleep on the back seat—through the rear-view mirror.
Regret swirled in my stomach over what I was about to do. I took a sip of cold coffee from the cup in my holder. I cringed over the icy taste, and my teeth brushed over my tongue to get rid of it. Regret swirled again, mixing with the coffee, making me feel sick.
I didn’t want to be here, surrounded by giant trees and nothing else but her home in the distance. I didn’t want to return her to it. I wanted to keep her, as fucked up as that was.
Today had been strange.
An optimistic morning became a fucking awful day, later melting away into a blissful evening.
We had laid in each other’s arms, silence keeping us company, and it made me feel like if I stretched, I could find happiness again. I could share it with her and make all her pain fade away.
But her pain would never stay away.
Not with all the bad memories so close by.
Keeping her in my home after what happened there today wasn't fair.
She was struggling. She needed support. Her family could give that, and I could arrange all the things she didn’t have—such as a stairlift and her wheelchairs.
A voice in my head told me my family could support her, too...and they would, Nonna and Ethan.
But in time, she would miss her father, even if she hadn’t spoken of him in weeks.
The thought of her being with him and not me gave me another reason to want him dead.
But I would live with that anger. For her. And he could live, too. For her.
She stirred in the backseat, her light sedation wearing off. It was almost as if this house had given her a warm welcome, or an abrupt one, shaking her to consciousness.
Her eyes blinked at me in the mirror, sleep-hazed and more sultry-looking than they should be. She had some kind of effect on me, and it was growing daily.
But it was time to do the honorable thing for her...for once.
“Mercer, where are we?” her groggy voice asked me. Her arms failed in attempting to lift her weight. Her eyes, twinkling in the darkness, strained to see through the window.
Unease cloaked her, making her sweat beneath the paisley-print sweater dress I had dressed her in, which instantly became itchy. Rounded nails clawed at her skin, stretching out the neck.
My eyes questioned her, my mouth twitching to do the same.
Her gaze found me again. “Why are we here?”
I handed her an already written note, sealed with stamped wax to hide the message inside. She shook as she accepted it, and for that, I held onto it a second too long. I let go, seeing the look in her eyes...hate. Every feeling I thought we shared earlier, the connection, the need to be close to each other, was taken back and snatched away like it meant nothing.
A familiar lie.
She played me at my own game.
And I fucking hated it.
But I couldn’t even lie about hating her since what happened earlier today.
And I wouldn’t let her know that now.
I stepped out of the car. Rain soaked my clothes instantly. I yanked open the back door and pulled her out beneath dark clouds, her bare legs becoming saturated, causing my shirt to cling to me as I wrapped them around my waist.
