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I’ll always be with you, but this way, I’ll get to be with Mom and Dad, too, and we’ll all be waiting for you, but we don’t want you to rush. So, you enjoy your life and live it to the fullest because you finally have it back.
I hope.
All my love always, your big sister, Rhylie.
We lay silent for a moment as I thumbed where Rhylie’s tears had made the words smudge. My hair and ear canal grew wet from my own. I folded the note, hid it under my pillow, and nuzzled closer to Remi while quietly crying. My fingers made it back onto his ear.
After a few minutes of silence, I had a question. “Can I ask you one last thing before we go to sleep?”
“You can ask me anything.”
“What happened to Ellis? Did they strip you of your name, too?”
“I chose my name,” he told me, talking silently with a saddened tone. “I saw it as a way of taking control. I was watching TV, and there was a show on discussing an animated movie being made. The movie was about a rat named Remy who liked to cook.”
“You named yourself after a rat?” I quizzed with a raised eyebrow, and an unintentional laugh fell through my lips. “God, only you, I swear!”
The vibrations of his laugh felt nice against my skin.
“I just thought he was cool, and I spent most of my childhood starving. And I’d never really watched much TV before that. At home, we didn’t have one, just a radio.” He shrugged. “Maybe that’s why I like music so much. Anyway, I flicked the channel to a show from the 90s, and there was a guy named Cole. He was a demon, and that felt fitting with the thoughts in my head. I became Remi Cole, but that didn’t have star quality, according to Alerion, so Remi became Remington.”
“Remington Cole, superstar. Are you nervous about tomorrow’s show?”
“I won’t be taking drugs if that’s what you’re asking.”
“I wasn’t.”
“I haven’t for years. Although, you being in a coma did test me, and I almost gave in.”
“What stopped you?”
“You. Jolie. She asked me not to do it on your behalf, and I could hear you, that first night, in my trailer, asking me if I’d give them up for the right person. And I gave them to her to hand over to Dec.”
After a minor hesitation, thinking over my next words and all that had been said these last few days, I told him, “I’m proud of you, Remi. For getting clean. For staying clean. And I hope you have a great turnout at tomorrow’s show. Don’t feel like you have to give up music, not if you don’t want to. That’s not something you’ll have to do for me. From now on, all I want from you is complete honesty.”
“Will you be watching?” he asked, his voice full of hope. “I know you can’t come because of the crowd and risking an infection.”
I took a deep breath, glancing over at him, and I saw a flash of a child who’d never had anyone be there for him.
“I understand if you don’t want to.”
“I don’t exactly have a great history with your shows.”
“I know...but if you want to change that, I’d really love for you to watch me sing.”
His hand moved to my hair, twirling the strands. He’d done this a few times in the past, and as I lay there, staring at the bright hope in his golden eyes, with my hand still on his ear, I wondered...
Is the hair thing for comfort, too?
Chapter 79
Remi
“You ready for a busy day?” Sean asked me.
Other band members stood close behind him, tolerating me. The sun was heavy and blinding as I squinted at them.
“I am.” I smiled and connected my head microphone. I moved my eyes away from the golden abuse and gazed out into the crowd, searching each face.
