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“Many times. He was taking anything he could get. One day, he was craving, desperate for anything and I was refusing to let him out of my sight. He was driving me nuts, though. I gave him a coffee, then another. They were cold and kinda tasteless, with no sugar. But he became dependent on them, and they were less harmful than anything else he craved. I made sure we always had coffee from that point on because I saw something in him, something that needed saving. He wasn’t bad, but hurt people hurt other people, Cat. And it isn’t always intentional. My point is I don’t see him as a monster, either. I see him as a victim who was so messed up and needed any kind of escape because that poor kid had only ever known pain. He took drugs to do that, and yeah, maybe in his mind, they helped, but they made him selfish and hard to fucking live with, but beneath all that was a boy who cared about those who cared for him. A boy fascinated by a letter on his finger that meant so much to him. Looking back, I feel guilty that I put the most responsibility on him just because he is the eldest. I wish I’d done things differently.”
“You saved him, Ollie.” My voice was quiet. Broken, like I felt. “That responsibility gave him a purpose. You did something I couldn’t. You got him clean. You made him better. And a better person.”
“That person—the person he is now—was always there. Does he still have slightly selfish ways sometimes? Yes. But maybe that comes from never having had anything growing up. Does he have shit to make up for with you? Definitely, and I don’t doubt he’ll do whatever he can to make things better if you offer him another chance because he is genuinely hurting, and you are genuinely hurting. That could be fixed with one conversation.”
“Is he coming tonight?”
“He comes every night, Cat.”
“Do not make jokes,” I warned Dec with a pointed finger.
Dec held his hands up. His joke about Remi coming all over himself as he watched me sleeping was still on his tongue.
“I’ll try and wait up for him.”
Chapter 77
Remi
The beady eyes of a bodiless panda and small ring bearer stared at me as my attempt to quietly trespass around my own room was foiled by a small black cat that blended in with the darkness.
“Fuck, Shadow,” I mumbled to myself.
I’d warned Ollie about these damn cats being in here and the risks they could cause to Cat’s healing, but apparently, she liked the company. As a peace offering, Ollie opted to change the bed if they’d been in here before she had to sleep in it.
Cat’s head turned, pretty red hair fanning the puffy pillow. Her open eyes were on me, but I didn’t realize it until she spoke.
“Do not shout at my guest.”
“Your furry little guest shouldn’t be in here.”
“Neither should you. Don’t you know it’s creepy to hang around a girl’s bedroom after dark. Anyone would think you’re up to your old tricks.” There was a playfulness to her voice that I hadn’t heard in weeks. It put a smile on my face.
I slumped down in my desk chair, lightly swinging it from side to side. “Well, it’s technically my room, too.”
“Couples share.”
I couldn’t help but laugh when she threw those words back at me. “Which is why I said, too.”
“Uh-uh. Sure. Anyway, you didn’t read your note.”
“My note?”
My head almost snapped in the direction of her bedside table as she pointed there, and my legs followed.
There it was, a pink sheet folded in half.
I turned on the bedside lamp, and the words became clear.
I miss you, too, but you did this. When I asked for space, I meant like a few hours, you total fool.
“And here I was, stupidly expecting some kind of love note.”
“It says I miss you. What more did you want? If you want a love note, write one.”
Picking up the pen, I lowered to my knees. They clicked, and the sound pulled Shadow onto my lap. He scratched at the denim, but I ignored him, putting words below hers.
I’m sorry. I thought you’d call for me when you were ready to talk.
