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“Why won’t you try for me? Why won’t you go and get her? Why won’t you tell her that she has to do this for me? You’re fine with constantly telling me no. Tell her no. Tell her my feelings matter.” I shouldn’t have raised my voice.
I rubbed my chest, feeling pain there.
“Cat, I can’t go and get Rhylie.”
“Because you think she won’t come? Maybe she will if you tell her how ill I’ve been. Tell her about the surgery. She’ll come. She would always do anything for me.”
A tear rolled down over the contours of Remi’s face.
Pulling my hand from his, I wiped it away as he glanced at me.
“She’ll come.” I nodded, sure of it.
“Cat…” Remi’s hand moved over mine, still on his face. He turned his head and kissed my palm. “Rhylie struggled with life a lot. She couldn’t cope with her trauma. She couldn’t find peace here, no matter what I did. And I promise you, I tried for her. I really did. I found her before you and brought her here, promising a better future. There were things we could have done to give her a new smile, but she rarely smiled, and when she did, it was when I spoke of you.”
“Why are you talking about her like she isn’t here anymore?”
Sadness filled my eyes, waiting for the words I knew would leave his mouth.
“Because she isn’t, Cat.”
A stuttered breath fell out of me, dragging a dozen tears.
“When Rhylie heard what happened to you, she ended her life. She knew, somehow, that she would be a match for your heart transplant, and to her, your life meant more.”
“She killed herself for me?”
“She wanted you to live. She wanted to do the most amazing thing for you because she loved you more than you know.”
“Then how could she leave me here? When I need her. How could she do that, knowing we’d never see each other again?”
Remi understood the resentment, I could tell, but he was still grateful for what she’d done. “She didn’t do it for selfish reasons. She did it for you.”
“But I need her. I’ve had a big sister for as long as I can remember. I don’t know how to live without her. Without the hope that I’ll see her someday.”
“She’ll be with you every day.” His eyes fixated on my chest, the rapid rise and fall of my heart holding his stare. “Try not to get worked up. This is why the doctors thought it better not to tell you.”
“Why didn’t you try and talk her out of it? Was my life worth that much?”
“Your life is priceless to me. I’d give anything to have you, but we were looking into other options. I didn’t want Rhylie to die.”
“Then why didn’t you fucking stop her?” I screamed, putting strain on Rhylie’s heart.
The door to my room opened, and Ollie stepped inside. He’d been in and out all week, not staying too long because he didn’t want to invade any important conversations, like Dr. Novaletti explaining the complications and life expectancy to me.
“Remi,” he cautioned. “The shouting.”
“I haven’t raised my voice.”
“I know you haven’t, but maybe you should go and get Novaletti and give Cat some space, huh? Until she calms down.”
“Yeah, Remi. Give me some space. Because I can’t even look at you right now.”
Standing from his chair, he pulled something from his pocket—a note folded into a tiny square. “This is from your sister. I had one, too, because I was too late to speak to her in person and tell her that her actions would break the heart she’d give you.”
He placed it on my lap, near but not touching my hands, and stopped at the door, turning to me. “You can have space, Cat, but it isn’t permanent. I meant it when I said I’d never let you run from me again.”
He left, entrusting my care with Ollie.
