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“Remi…”
“What? I fidgeted with the door lock. The alarms sounded, the car screaming that it didn’t want me inside as I pulled on the passenger-side door.
“Why won’t it open?” I asked her, then moved my question to the vehicle. “Why won’t you open for her?”
The scratch up the side moved before my eyes, spelling out the words she’s not getting in.
Cat voiced the same statement. “I’m not getting in there.”
Twisting to her, I fell over my shadow back into the car that caught me. “Why?”
“Remi…you’ve completely fucking lost it.”
Cat didn’t hang around for me to try and convince her otherwise. She sped off, her bare feet rushing through the grass in the opposite direction of me.
Not moving for seconds as the distance between us grew, I watched her get smaller and smaller.
“So small. I could pick you up and put you in my pocket.” I laughed to myself.
I kicked off my shoes and left them by the car, wondering what it would be like to feel the grass between my toes.
I wouldn’t know because I rushed off without taking off my dirty socks. Twigs crunched beneath them as I entered the forest.
“Cat?”
Something moved, a tree overhanging. The strong trunk had a face—a nose, eyes, and a mouth that was talking to me.
“She doesn’t want you.”
I stumbled back, but another tree caught me, assaulting each ridge of my spine while the one with the face caused pain to my chest.
“She doesn’t want you. She told you that. She ran from you. She knows you’re worthless.”
“No. She’s wrong.”
“She isn’t,” the wispy voice murmured.
“She loves me deep down!”
“Loved. She doesn’t anymore. You let her down.”
“She’ll forgive me.”
“She won’t.”
I couldn’t hear this. I couldn’t fucking stand the idea of it. Why was I even still feeling anything?
Gripping my ears in an attempt to pull them from my fucking head, I ripped the hearing aid from the right one and tossed it against another tree. It bounced in another direction, far from me.
Good, silence.
I needed silence.
I needed to relax. My heart beat at my ribs in an uncomfortable way.
I dipped my fingers into my pocket, searching for another gummy or paper, but pulled out an empty pocket.
“Fuck!” I screamed, amplifying the ringing in my own ear that I still hadn’t gotten fucking used to.
