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Alina pulled back, knowing she should apologize but not wanting to. No, she would rather keep taking.
She closed her eyes so she wouldn’t have to see the pain she had caused him. “I want to ask you for something,” she admitted, the words rushing out of her, “but I know the answer is no, and I don’t want you to say no. Do you always touch me like that when I have a nightmare?” Her eyes flared wide. Before he could respond to the question, she was rushing on. “No, that’s not what I wanted to ask. I just realized when I woke up that the soothing part that sneaks into the memory I relive, night after night, of someone raping me, forcing me to beg, that damn nightmare, the soothing part is all you.” She swallowed, her breath shuddering. “You’re always soothing me, even though it hurts you. You give and you give, and I should want you to stop, but I want to ask for more. I’m going to ask, and you’re going to say no, and this torture will never go away.”
Luka should have run by now. She almost wanted him to. Instead, his hand loosened around her wrist to the gentle hold he normally kept on her. “Ask.” His low voice always made her have to listen closely, as if she were imagining it.
“Have sex with me.”
He didn’t look shocked, not that she’d expected him to. His face remained chiseled from stone, but his eyes squeezed shut, as if he was already in pain.
“I know it’ll hurt. Not just you, but me. I’m expecting it to hurt. But I think if it was you—”
“I can’t.” For once, his words were strong. She’d expected a soft, forced-out ‘no,’ so the strength behind his denial was worse, even if his fingers glided over the edge of her face. “I can’t hurt you,” he explained.
Alina’s chest felt like he’d punched it. It was the same feeling she experienced when he wasn’t around. He wasn’t saying no because touching would hurt him. He didn’t want to hurt her. “But it’s always him, and I want it to be you,” she pushed. “Sex will hurt. I can’t imagine it not hurting, but I still want it to be you.”
Her breath caught because his brows had drawn together, as if he was thinking something over. It must not have been about having sex with her because he rolled off the bed, his movement almost too quick for her eyes to follow. He was wearing new clothes and new gloves and blended in with the darkness, but that wasn’t why. His body had a smooth flow that she wished she could mimic. It was so beautiful.
She didn’t want him to go, and the pain of the thought was terrible. She’d told herself she needed to get used to it, had lied to herself about it getting easier over time, but it only got worse.
He made another movement in the dark, and she realized it was him holding out his hand.
She shouldn’t take it. Every time she took it, she hurt him more.
Her hand wrapped around his, and he tugged her from the bed.
The Di Salvo estate was silent as they slipped into the hallway. A few soldiers were awake, but Luka kept her in the shadows until they passed.
She thought about asking where they were going but maintained her silence. Luka would struggle to explain, and she would know soon enough.
He led her upstairs and inside a bedroom.
Morning hadn’t arrived yet to light the room, but it was obvious that two people were on the bed. Alina froze, but Luka tugged her forward. Suddenly, his arms were around her as he urged her to sit on the floor behind a large chair near the window. Luka was hugging her against him again, despite the pain, and she couldn’t pull away from his effort.
His touch steadied her breathing. Time passed, and the first light of dawn peeked through the curtains.
A person on the bed woke up. It was the woman she’d met briefly the day before, Giovanni Di Salvo’s wife, Nera. Which made the other lump beneath the covers Giovanni, but Alina’s gaze hadn’t moved from the woman. She was naked, her arms strong as they stretched above her head, her stomach rounded above where the covers had bunched at her hips, and her breasts were on display for anyone to see.
Not that the woman would expect anyone to be in her bedroom.
To Alina’s surprise, the woman’s hands lowered to her breasts, her fingers moving to the nipples to pinch and tug. She lowered back to the pillow, her fingers still working on her breasts as a soft moan slipped from between her lips.
The heat the sound created inside Alina almost startled her own squeak out, but Luka’s gloved hand shifted over her mouth, keeping the telltale sound inside. Her lips tingled from the silky slide of the glove over them, and she was grateful he blocked any noise from escaping.
“Nera?” a voice asked sleepily as the woman’s breathing quickened and another moan slipped out.
Nera laughed, the sound so full of happiness that it brought tears to Alina’s eyes. The wife rolled on top of her husband, and then they were kissing, but not like Alina had kissed Luka. Nera’s lips were forceful and hungry, and Alina thought she saw the woman’s tongue active in their open-mouthed kisses.
Then the wife was kissing down her husband’s body, spending a lot of time around his neck before forcing the blankets away so she could kiss lower.
Giovanni wasn’t as vocal as his wife, but as she reached below his stomach, his breathing changed, and he choked off a sound that Alina wanted to imagine Luka making.
Alina couldn’t believe Luka had brought her to watch what they were doing. She couldn’t see everything, not from their angle, but when the blankets were pushed completely off to slide down the front of the bed, Giovanni’s erection was easy enough to see, poking up from between his legs.
Nera didn’t seem scared or worried or degraded. She licked her lips before her head moved lower to kiss the tip of him. Giovanni’s hands reached for his wife, as if he would stop her, and Alina really wanted him to stop her. Nera’s hands wrapped around his, though, pushing them down on the bed as she kissed his erection.
“I want this,” Nera said. Her voice was husky. Her tongue stroked over his tip again, and Giovanni groaned. His wife laughed. “I want to drive you crazy.” Then she took him deep into her mouth.
Alina had had an erection in her mouth. More than one. She’d never wanted it there. Had gagged as they pounded toward her throat. The men had twisted their hands into her hair and forced her mouth to move on them faster as they thrust, and she’d tried not to choke.
