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“What are you doing?” he whispers, his breath on my ear sending shivers down my spine. His hands remain on the outside of the tub, refusing to touch me.
Refusing to believe that I’d chosen him.
I look over my shoulder and press my lips to his cheek. “I’m taking a bath with my boyfriend.”
His throat bobs as he swallows. “But what about …”
My tongue traces the vein along his neck before I take his earlobe between my teeth. “It’s you, TJ. I only want you.”
“Are you sure?” His hands slip under the water and caress my thighs.
“Positive.”
His hands leave my legs and blaze a trail up my body. They glide over my breasts, bringing the warm water with them. My head drops back on his shoulder as a breathy moan escapes me. He’s teasing me in the most sensuous way, swirling his wet fingertips over my nipples, sucking my neck, biting my shoulder, all while grinding his hardness against my back.
“TJ.” His name is a whimper on my lips, begging for more.
One hand remains on my chest while his other dips below the water again. He parts my legs and skims his fingers over my center. The water amplifies the sensation he’s causing as he slides over my sensitive skin in slow, gentle strokes.
“I love you so much, Carla,” he whispers against my ear. “I’m going to take care of you. Make you happy. Make you feel loved.”
The only coherent thing I can say is his name, over and over, while he assaults my senses.
“This body is mine,” he commands.
“Yours,” I say. “I’m yours.” I’m writhing in pure agony and bliss under his feather-light touch.
He pushes the tip of his finger inside me while strumming me with his thumb. I’m ready to break apart, and then his hand leaves me. I’m in a daze as he pulls me to my feet and hoists me out of the tub. He carries me to his room and lowers me onto the bed.
He’s reaching for a condom when I scoot off the bed. I drop to my knees before him and take him into my mouth. Gripping onto his muscular backside, I drive him in farther, wrapping my tongue around his length. My eyes travel up his taut pelvis, over the rigid lines of his abs, until I meet his fiery gaze.
With his hand wrapped around the back of my neck, he watches me until he’s about to explode. He lifts me by my biceps and sets me back on the bed. While he’s tearing into the condom, I flip onto my stomach. His eyebrow arches and I flash him a devilish smile.
“God, I love you,” he says. He lifts my hips until they’re aligned with his and thrusts into me.
TJ hits the best spot from this angle, and his hands are everywhere. Greedy, touching and rubbing every inch of me.
But the thing about TJ is that he doesn’t just make love to my body. He makes love to my mind. He might hold my small frame in his hands, but he also possesses my soul.
When we’re lying together after, intertwined and satiated, we spend the remainder of the night talking about the future.
Our future.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Tj
“Thank you for coming with me today.”
Carla wraps her scarf around her neck and smiles. “Thank you for taking me.” Her lips turn downward as she takes one last look around. “I hate that you were once on the other side of these tables.”
I pull her against me and press my lips to the top of her head. “Everything I went through led me to you.”
Every Thanksgiving, I volunteer at this soup kitchen in Manhattan. Being here with Carla, serving instead of receiving, is a surreal experience. This doesn’t seem like my life. I still feel as if I should be sitting at the table, listening to one of Steve’s stories.
I clasp Carla’s hand as we walk out the door onto the sidewalk. My eyes bounce off each familiar place we pass, but I don’t allow my finger to rise up and point them out. This isn’t a happy stroll down memory lane. What would I say? “There’s the alley where I used to scrounge for half-eaten scraps for dinner,” or, “That’s the warehouse I used to shoot up in.” No. I swallow it down and remind myself that the present no longer has room for my past.
That is, until I spot him.
