AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“You’re the best.” She snuggles against my side, pressing a kiss to my cheek. “Where do you want to start?”
I prop my pillow against the headboard, and set my CBD oil on the nightstand. “I really need you to understand why I pushed you away. It had nothing to do with you. I know I compared you to the people in my past, and that wasn’t fair. But it was more about me, and my insecurities. It was about me feeling like I couldn’t give you the kind of life you deserve.”
She takes my hand, and trails her fingers over my palm in soothing circles as she listens.
“You are the first person I’ve let into my heart since I got injured. You are this astonishing woman, and you’re so full of life, and love, and positivity. But my life isn’t always going to be like that. There are ups and downs with my disability, and you saw a tiny window into what that’s like after our camping trip. There are things I can’t do, and there are days I can’t even move out of bed. But if we build a future together, if you decide you want children one day, or if you want to take that trip to Hawaii, I’m not sure what that’s going to look like for me. Lifting babies, and being an equal partner, and long plane rides ...” I shrug. “I don’t know what that’s like for a disabled person because I haven’t done those things.”
She nods. “I understand the future can be scary. But we won’t know what lies ahead if we don’t try.”
“You’re right. And I want to try with you. But I don’t want to have a fairy tale mindset where everything will work out as long as we love each other. The truth is, it takes a lot more than love.”
“It takes trust, and patience, and commitment.” She lifts her eyes to mine. “I’ve actually been reading a lot about what it takes to be a partner to someone with a disability. Well, I was before I left Maine.”
“You did?”
“There’s this amazing page I came across on social media. It’s called WAGS of SCI: Wives and Girlfriends of Spinal Cord Injury. This thing between me and you, it’s nothing new or outlandish. There are a ton of inter-abled couples out there.” She shifts on the bed to face me, adjusting her terrycloth robe. “Bryce, I know I’m new to this, and I know there’s a lot I don’t know. But I love you. If you trust me, and you feel like being in a relationship with me is what you want, then I’m all in.
“You talk about being an equal partner, but what couple is 100% equal? If you were still an NFL player, I wouldn’t make nearly as much money as you. That wouldn’t be equal. And I definitely can’t cook like you can, or build a house. There are tons of things I can’t do. Relationships aren’t about fairness. It’s not tit-for-tat. It’s about giving as much effort, in whatever way you’re capable of, as you can.”
I shake my head, at a loss for words as a lump rises in my throat. “I wish you would’ve told me that before I went and ruined everything for a while there.”
She tips her head back, and laughs. “I would’ve told you that if you’d given me the chance to.”
I cup her face, and press my forehead against hers. “I’m sorry.”
“You wrote in my journal about going to therapy again. I think that’s a great idea.”
“I also went back to my support group. When I first moved to Bar Harbor, I met a great group of people who have spinal cord injuries. I hadn’t been there in a while, but losing you made me realize that I still have work to do on myself. I need to stay connected to a group of friends who understand what I’ve been through, and what I’m going through.”
“I’d love to meet them one day.”
“If you come back to Maine with me, you’ll meet Steve. He’s the one Edward is staying with.”
She closes her eyes and presses her palms against her chest. “I miss that dog so much.”
“He misses you too. Poor thing has been a wreck, pacing around the inn, looking out the window every time he hears a car. I think he’s waiting for you to come back home.”
“Home.” She tilts her head, and runs her fingers over my cheek.
“And if you don’t want to move to Maine, I understand. I’ll move here with you. Or we can go somewhere else entirely. Whatever you want.”
“New York has always been my home. But I feel like I’ve outgrown it. It’ll always hold my memories, but it doesn’t hold my heart.”
“Where does your heart live?”
She places her palm against my chest. “It lives with you.”
I press my lips to hers and whisper, “I was really hoping you’d say that.”
Nana, Charly, and I head back to Charly’s apartment after we check out of our hotel rooms.
“Anthony is probably still sleeping.” I slip my phone back into my pocket. “I bet he and the guys got wasted last night.”
“I don’t remember seeing him at the end of the night,” Nana says. “Bentley walked me to my room, and made sure I got in all right. That boy is such a gem.”
Charly twists the key in her door, and grimaces. “Excuse the boxes. I’m in the process of donating some of my mom’s things.”
We step inside just as Anthony struts out of the bathroom—buck naked.
