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I used the little strength I had to smack his arm.
“Thank you, Ms. Thompson.” The nurse shook her head and turned back out the door.
Tanner chuckled as he made himself comfortable beside me. He rested his head on my chest, and I raked my fingers through his matted hair.
“Did Dad say anything when you saw him?”
“He asked how you were. He has a concussion, but they have him on pain meds.”
I struggled to swallow. “I can’t believe they came back.”
“How did they find you?”
“I don’t know.”
He looked at me, exuding nothing but love and sincerity. “You saved my life, Charlotte.”
I shook my head. “You almost died because of me. Your family would’ve been devastated all over again.”
“But I didn’t die. I’m right here. Everything is fine. Stop focusing on what happened, and just look at me. Look at me, Charlotte.”
I lifted my eyes to meet his.
“The nightmare is over. You get to put everything behind you, and move on with your life. No more fear. Everything you went through, every choice you made, has lead you to this very moment. If you hadn’t left Florida, we never would’ve met.”
“Yeah,” I said, laughing once. “If you’d never met me, you wouldn’t be in this hospital bed.”
“If I’d never met you, I don’t want to think about where I would be right now. I was angry and fucked up. Then, my dad died.” He shook his head. “You are the only good thing in my life. You saved me from the fire tonight, but you also saved me from my miserable life.”
I always thought Tanner wouldn’t be able to love me if he knew the truth about my past. How could you love someone who left a man to die in a burning building? Now, my secrets were all out in the open. Tanner saw me for who I really was, yet he didn’t love me any less. I didn’t deserve it. I didn’t deserve him.
I lay my head back on the pillow, but every time I closed my eyes to try to sleep, visions of Tanner bleeding on the bakery floor flashed in my mind. With dried blood on his face, a stab wound in his back, and black sooty smudges all over his skin, it was an image that would forever be burned into my memory.
Tanner had almost died, and I was the reason why.
* * *
“What are you thinking about?” Dad asked, snapping me out of the broken record of self-loathing playing in my head.
I offered him a half- smile from the chair beside his hospital bed. “Just how thankful I am that you and Tanner are all right. How do you feel?”
“I’m fine.” He grunted as he sat up in the bed. “I wish you’d stop asking me that.” He looked me square in the eyes. “Now, tell me what’s going on in that head of yours.”
I shrugged, breaking eye contact. “I can’t help thinking that Tanner almost died because of me.”
“How is any of this your fault?”
“I decided to burn down our old bakery. I left John in there to die, and it was my idea to run. I started a new life, and put everyone who met me in danger. What if Tanner had died? How would I have been able to live with myself?”
Dad’s eyebrows pressed together. “Charlotte, I am the reason that all of this happened. It all stems back to me and my poor decisions. You did what you could to survive. You can’t punish yourself for any of this. Tanner didn’t die. You saved him. You saved all of us.”
I knew Dad was the first domino to set this whole situation into motion. However, my choices thereafter are what caused the events of last night. I was responsible for Tanner’s injuries. I couldn’t stop thinking about it.
“Did you talk to the police yet?”
I nodded. “I gave my statement earlier this morning.”
“You’re a hero, Charlotte. Everyone’s been talking about it.”
