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I spent the remainder of the night typing out a text, trying to figure out a way to explain things to Tanner without telling him the truth.
I would tell you, but …
I can’t tell you what happened, but …
I want to tell you, but …
Nothing sounded good enough. None of it was what he wanted to hear. Maybe I could tell him. Maybe no harm would come to him if he knew the truth. Maybe I was just scared to tell him. Scared of Tanner seeing me in a less-than-perfect light.
Since the day I met him, Tanner has always looked at me in a special way no one else has. What if he heard the truth and never looked at me the same again? I couldn’t bear that.
If I don’t tell Tanner the truth, he won’t forgive me for it. If I tell him the truth, there’s a chance he won’t forgive me for it. Either way I sliced it, the end result was the same.
Twenty
Tanner
“What do you mean Merritt is coming home?”
“Merry’s coming to visit?” Khloe shrieked.
Mom sighed heavily. “She’s not coming for a visit. She’s coming back for good.”
“Yay! Merry and Chase are coming back!”
“No, baby. It’s just Merritt.”
“Why isn’t Chasey coming, too?”
I searched my mother’s eyes for an answer to Khloe’s question. What the hell is going on? They hadn’t been gone for more than a couple months.
“Kokomo, why don’t you go play in your room for a bit? I’m going to talk to your brother, and then I’ll be up to play with you.”
Khloe bounded out of the room and upstairs. She was such a good kid. After everything she’d been through, she always listened and always had a smile on her face. I’d have to do something special for her.
Mom spoke once Khloe was out of earshot. “I just got off the phone with Shelly. Merritt is already on a flight back here. She’s been drinking a lot.”
“Drinking? Why?”
“I don’t know. That girl’s been through hell and back. Truthfully, I don’t think she wanted to go to California.”
“No shit. I said that.”
“You did. You were right. She was trying to do the right thing for Chase, and I guess it was too much for her to handle. Especially with everything that happened with her mother before she left.” Mom covered her hand with mine. “She’s going to need you, Tanner.”
“Me?” What the fuck could I do?
“You were in a bad way after Dad died. Now look at you.” She moved her hand to my face. “You’ve come so far. I think you could help Merritt get through her issues.”
“Why can’t her selfish boyfriend come home and help her? He should put someone before himself for a change.”
“Chase is torn between following his dream and his love for Merritt. She needs to learn how to help herself. Chase doesn’t understand how to help her do that. I think you’d be able to get through to her.”
I nodded slowly. “I can bring her to TJ’s gym.”
“That’s what I was thinking.”
“Not gonna lie, Mom. I’m glad she’s coming back. We need the help at work.”
