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“Do you still talk to her?”
No, because I disappeared in the night, never to be seen or heard from again. “Sometimes.”
“Can I ask you something else?”
“Sure.” I stiffened, an uneasy feeling creeping into my stomach.
Tanner swiped and clicked on his phone a couple times and then held out his screen for me to see. “Was that your dad’s old bakery?”
Acid pooled in my stomach. The picture on Tanner’s screen showed a fiery blaze engulfing the storefront of a bakery—my bakery—as firefighters attempted to put the fire out. The headline above the picture read: “Fire Breaks Out at Family-Owned Bakery.”
“That’s it, isn’t it?”
Tears welled in my eyes, and my throat felt like it was closing. The dam I’d built to stop me from remembering that night had sprung a massive leak as the memories rushed forward. I sat, paralyzed, while the terror and guilt washed over me. Just like that, I was back in the kitchen of Dad’s old bakery …
I turned the knob on the stove. The clicking igniter sounded so loud in the silent room. It accompanied the sound of my beating heart. The flame roared to a start, and I stared into it. The red gas can felt light in my hand. I couldn’t forget to take it with me when I left.
I was doing this. There was no turning back now.
“What do you think you’re doing?” John’s voice startled me out of my thoughts. He stood in the doorway at the back of the kitchen.
He was too early. Had he been watching me?
“Stay back!” I shouted. “You can’t stop me.”
“The hell I can’t! You think you’re so smart, but you’re not smart enough, blondie!” He stomped toward me, but his fancy leather shoes slipped on the lighter fluid I’d poured all over the kitchen. His legs went up as he flew into the air, and his head bounced when it hit the tile.
I held my breath, waiting for him to get up.
But he didn’t.
“Charlotte!” Tanner was shaking me by the shoulders now. “Talk to me, baby. Please!”
I blinked a few times and touched my fingers to my cheek. I was crying. Where was I?
I turned to see Tanner sitting beside me wearing a tortured expression.
“Charlotte? Can you hear me?”
I was safe. I was with Tanner. I flung my arms around his neck and held him as tightly as I could.
“Baby, what the hell just happened? Talk to me. One second, you were sitting here talking to me, and the next …” He paused. “You were gone. It’s like you were sleepwalking.”
I tried to control my sobs, wiping my face with the back of my hand. “I … I get these sometimes.”
“These? What are these?” He held me out in front of him so he could look into my eyes. He looked so scared, and I felt awful. I’d scared him.
“I don’t know. Panic attacks, I think.”
“What are you having panic attacks about?”
I covered my face with my hands. “I can’t tell you, Tanner.”
“Why not?” He took my hands and held them inside his. “Maybe I can help you. Let me help you.”
“There’s nothing you can do. It’s over now.”
“Clearly, it’s not over. You just had a panic attack when I showed you the fire from your old bakery. Is it because of the fire? Were you trapped inside or something?”
