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I chew on the thoughts before pushing them all from my mind. "No, I was just having trouble with this jump, but it will be fine."
"Tomorrow is another day. I'm sure you'll get it sorted out when you're back on the ice."
I force a smile on my lips, although I'm not sure who I'm trying to convince. "You're right." The bartender sets two shots in front of the two of us. I give him a quizzical look.
He smiles and shrugs. “Some guy ordered them, but I don’t see him now.”
Brynn and I look at each other and after a moment of hesitation, we both lift the small glasses up and tap them against each other’s. “To random men buying beautiful women drinks.”
“Well, if it isn’t two of my favorite people.”
A real smile lifts my lips as I hear my brother’s voice and turn around to look at him as he steps up behind Brynn and I. I’m surprised to see he isn’t wearing dress clothes for once. He has a simple black t-shirt on, revealing the artwork on his arm and a pair of dark-washed jeans. Brynn mumbles something under her breath before she downs her shot. “Hey, Austin,” she says slowly as she turns around.
“Hello, Brynn,” he responds with a soft smile before looking between the two of us.
“What are you doing here?” I ask my brother, a bit confused by seeing him.
“I had to fly in for a few days to check out some things with the cooling system at the rink.” He pauses and points to our glasses. “I see you got the shots I ordered for you.”
“Ah, shit,” Brynn sighs and looks momentarily disappointed. “We thought it was going to be some random rich man who would want to make us sister wives.”
“Sorry to disappoint,” he retorts as he steps beside her and sits down. “I guess you won’t let me buy you another drink then?”
I roll my eyes. Thank God Brynn has known him long enough that she’s immune to his charms. If anything, she plays along with it and gives him shit back, almost as if it’s a running joke between the two of them. The banter and the stolen glances… I’m not an idiot, even if they both claim to just be friends.
“If you’re buying, we will always be drinking,” Brynn tells him as she pulls her hair back into a ponytail. “Whip out that black card, baby. We’re drinking top-shelf tonight.”
“As if you’d really drink anything else.” Austin gives both of us a knowing look. “Neither of you like cheap liquor.”
“I still have flashbacks from drinking in college.” Brynn laughs and makes a look of disgust as she shakes her head. She looks directly at me. “You know exactly what I’m talking about.”
“Oh god, our twenty-first birthday,” I groan at the memory. That was one hell of a night. “You were glued to the toilet all night long.”
Austin props his elbow on the bar and rests his chin on his hand as he watches us take a trip down memory lane. He wasn’t there that night because he was out of the country on business. The next day, he took the first flight he could get home and insisted he take me out to celebrate, even though I had the hangover from hell.
“I’m so glad I was a night late for all that,” Austin chimes in with a chuckle.
“Thank God for that,” Brynn agrees as she laughs with him. “Talk about embarrassing.”
Her words bring my mind back to earlier today and a frown pulls on my lips as I stare down at my drink for a moment. My movements are slow as I reach for it, wrapping my fingers around the cool, damp glass.
“I’m going to run to the restroom quickly,” Brynn tells me before she disappears from the bar. I nod as I take a sip of my drink and set it down.
“What’s wrong, Ari?” Austin asks me as he slides over into Brynn’s seat. He stares at me head-on and I can’t do anything other than sigh. I know my brother and he knows me. He knows something is wrong and he isn’t going to let it go until I tell him.
“Leo and I were practicing today and every fucking time I tried to do an Axel, I fell.” I close my eyes and rest my hand against my forehead. “I couldn’t land it. It’s a jump I’ve done thousands of times with no issues.” I pause and turn my head to look at my brother. “What if I can’t do it again?”
A sympathetic look washes over his face and he tilts his head to the side. “Why wouldn’t you be able to do it again? Are you hurt?”
I shake my head as feelings of frustration mix with the anxiety inside. “What if this is just the end of my career? Maybe my body and mind forgot how to land it and this is just the end for me.” I drop my hands to my lap in defeat.
“Ari, no,” he says as he grabs my shoulder and gives it a squeeze. “This is not the end and everything will be fine. It was just a bad day.”
“I can’t afford bad skating days, Austin,” I tell him with no humor in my tone. The anxiety is a beast inside me, running rampant.
“I get that. You’ve been stressed out and working your ass off,” he reminds me. “You’re letting self-doubt turn into self-sabotage right now. Just try and relax. Try not to think about it or focus on it too much.”
“And do what?” I demand in a defeated tone. Not thinking about it and not focusing on it is easier said than done.
