AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I don’t reach his eyes even though I can feel his gaze on me. I only nod and whisper, “Thank you.”
Perhaps it’s the pain, perhaps it’s gratitude…maybe it’s the fear. I don’t know why I don’t feel more violated. It could be the sheer exhaustion.
As I hear the door close, my entire body feels heavier and sags. My legs are weak as I walk slowly into the spray of hot water and rest my forehead against the cold wall. I try to relax my shoulders under the spray, but my body seems to ache more and more as the time passes. The warmth is welcoming, but it’s not enough to settle this uneasiness running through me. I stay there, under the spray, for a long time, just wishing the pain would go away. All of the pain.
I hesitantly reach for the bottle of soap sitting on the corner shelf. It’s not mine. None of this is mine. I think he intended for me to use it, but I still hesitate. I feel so unsure and unsteady. I stand under the flowing streams staring at the bottle but decide not to use it. I don’t want to make him or anyone else angry. He’s been kind so far; I don’t want to give him a reason to be upset. The water will be enough. I run my fingers through my hair to try to untangle the knots. I struggle for a few moments and then decide to just let the water run through it more before I try again.
I rub my belly as I feel the pressure of another contraction growing in my lower back. I lean forward and put my hands where I need them on my upper thighs and breathe through the pain. A low moan vibrates through my body as I sway with the contraction. The deep moan makes the pain seem somewhat bearable. I feel hot and exhausted, and I wish it would just stop. If only these contractions would let up for a little while. I just need a break so I can rest.
I don’t even realize Jude’s come into the bathroom until his voice is right behind me.
JUDE
The second I hear that moan of pain from her lips I burst through the door. Against every logical thought, I’m led to her and I can’t stop myself. It fucking killed me to leave, but it hurt even more watching her dejected and uncomfortable in my presence. It’s as if merely being in the same room as me was painful for her.
With my heart racing, assuming the worst from her groan of pain, I don’t hesitate to open the shower door. The steam blinds me for a moment and then I see she’s hunched over and pushing her hands against her thighs. She looks as if she’s dying. She’s not fucking okay.
“Where’s the healer?” I shout in my head at Devin as my heart pounds even harder.
“I won’t let her die. I can’t allow this. She needs help and she needs it now.” This can’t be normal. Fuck! I just found my mate and here she is doubled over in pain. Even through her small moans of protest, I pick her up easily, careful not to jostle her too much, and bring her to the bed. She may be on death’s door, but she has enough fight in her to scramble away from my hold.
“I’m just bringing you to the bed,” I reassure her as she bears down with pain again.
“She’s coming.” Devin answers in my head and I just shake my head at his response, watching Lena get on her knees in the middle of the bed and moan into the sheets.
“What the fuck do I do?” My voice is weak as shit, but I’m so far out of my element I don’t care. This pain in my chest is unbearable. Even my wolf howls in agony.
“Hold on.” Devin doesn’t seem bothered, and I don’t fucking like it.
“I’m watching my mate die, Devin.” I barely get out the words. The fear and helplessness are numbing.
“Lena,” I murmur her name as I approach, but she doesn’t respond more than a groan that rocks with her body.
“You want me to come in there and see your mate like that, Jude?” I snarl at Devin’s question and it makes Lena whimper. My hands run down my face.
“Give it a minute. Grace knew a doula.”
“What the fuck is a doula?”
Not more than a minute later the door opens, and I watch Lizzie and Grace quietly enter my bedroom, each with a MacBook in hand. Grace is more skittish than Lizzie, who approaches Lena without showing an ounce of anything other than compassion.
Grace, dressed like Lizzie in pajamas, glances at me and then whispers that Lena’s okay. “This is just childbirth.”
Blood drains from my face at her statement. There is no fucking way this is normal.
“Lena sweetie, how would you rate your pain on a scale from one to ten?” Lizzie asks as she sets the computer down on the bed and walks quickly to Lena’s side. Grace grabs a chair from the corner of the room and drags it over to the bed. All I can do is watch.
Lena lifts her head up to look at the two of them. “A seven. I’d say it’s a seven.” Her answer shocks me. Just a seven?
“What medicine can she have to take the pain away?” I ask them. “What do we have?” I try to think of what kind of pills we have in the house, but I’m coming up blank. That and she’s pregnant. I have no fucking clue what pregnant women can take. I have never felt so useless in my life.
Lena moans into the sheets and the women completely ignore my question. Grace tilts the screen and holds the computer in front of me so I can see it. “Do this, Jude. Watch how he pushes on her hips. That might help her a bit with the pain.” My little Alpha mate shows me a video of a man pushing against a woman’s hips. I nod my head. I can do that. I can do this for my mate. I climb on the bed that groans with my weight and put my palms against her hips and push in, just like that guy was doing.
“Harder!” Lena moans into the pillow. She shocks me with her demand, but I instantly push her hips harder together. “Harder, please!” She whimpers. Shit. If I push into her hips any harder, they’ll fucking break. I don’t want to hurt her, but how can I ignore her? Before I have a chance to gauge the situation her body visibly relaxes.
“Okay, it’s done.” Lena’s breathy voice cuts through me. This is really happening. Holy shit. I’m not fucking ready for this.
“Did your water break?”
