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Jude’s hands brace my shoulders as he once again speaks over me. “Buy everything they need. Just don’t take too long.”
“Thirty minutes, tops.” She retorts, and her smile dims slightly as she looks back at me but she’s quick to correct it. I can only imagine what they’re saying through their bond.
My eyes focus on the floor as another round of pain settles in my lower back and works its way to my front. I have to close my eyes and suppress the low moan clawing at me to get out. They continue to talk, and I do my best to stay out of the way and stay quiet. I try my damndest to just get through this pain without alerting them.
I don’t know what to say. I’m grateful for their warm welcome, but I don’t understand it and my instinct is to leave. I open my mouth, but words fail to escape my dry throat. I suddenly feel cold, and I wrap my arms around my shoulders. I focus on the floor again, unsure of myself and what I should be doing.
“Would you like a shower, Lulu?” Hearing my nephew’s nickname for me from the handsome, masculine shifter forces a small, sad pang of a laugh from my lips.
After a moment I’m able to answer, “Lena.”
“Lena.” There’s a hint of awe in Jude’s voice and it commands me to look into his silver eyes. They’re soft and they call to me. Small wrinkles form around his eyes to make him look even more attractive. My body wants me to lean into his embrace, but I refrain from giving into the temptation. I’m tired and aching everywhere.
“Would you like a shower, Lena? We have clothes for you.”
Tears prick at the kindness, and I realize I may have thought the worst. I would give anything for a shower.
“Please.” I finally answer his question. He looks back at me with a mix of uncertainty and hopefulness.
“Please what?”
“The shower.” My voice is small as I tear my gaze away from his.
“This way.” His strong hand presses against the small of my back just as another false contraction rips through me. It’s more than irritating at this point. I walk through the pain and do my best not to let it get to me. I need to keep a level head and not get distracted. Jude rubs his hand along my back, and I find it relaxing and comforting. So much so that my eyes start to drift. I follow the sound of his shoes hitting the floor and let him lead me.
“Are you sure you wouldn’t rather have a bath?” His question makes me open my eyes and look up at him. A comforting smile plays at his lips, but concern is most evident on his handsome face.
I shake my head. I’m covered in filth. The river has been too cold for me to wash lately. I really need to clean myself. Of everything. “A shower please.” I can’t help that my words come out as though I’m begging. Quite frankly, I would beg if he asked me to or rather, if he demanded.
I don’t get the sense that he’ll be doing much asking. The thought sends a chill through my body. It’s been so long since I’ve even seen a shower. I’d give anything to be bathed in hot water. My head rocks as a wave of dizziness washes over me. At the same time another bout of pain nearly collapses my body. This one is much stronger than the last few. I have to stop and lean against the wall. Jude keeps his hands on me, and I find myself pushing him away. The pain in my legs makes me crouch forward to put pressure against my thighs. It feels so much better with the pressure from my hands, but my back still fucking hurts.
Jude waits patiently, gently rubbing my back even though I pushed him away. If he’s going to have his hands on me I wish he’d push harder. I need pressure to ease this pain. I can’t open my mouth to speak though, instead I just concentrate on breathing. For the first time I wonder if this is it, but my water hasn’t broken, so I doubt I’m truly in labor. I breathe through my nose as the contraction wanes, and I gain control of my composure again.
“Are you sure you’re all right?” I hear Jude’s strong voice and simply nod in response. I walk forward with my eyes mostly closed. I just need a shower and a nap. That’s all. Then I’ll feel better.
“I know there’s a lot you need, but anything at this moment? Is there anything I can do?”
It’s shocking to hear his softly worded question. There’s a tension between us as I stare up into his gaze and I gently shake my head.
I nearly weep as he leads me into the room. His bathroom is larger than my pathetic hut back at camp. The walls and floor are made of large rectangular slats of white marble with gray streaks. There’s a large, egg-shaped bath in the center of the room and the entire back wall is a walk-in shower with three shower heads, one in the ceiling and the two on either side of the stall. A large pane of glass makes up the door. It’s gorgeous and so clean it’s nearly sterile. The sight makes me feel so out of place. It emphasizes my insignificance and filth.
If this is all a trick, it’s cruel.
“I don’t feel comfortable leaving you.” Jude’s voice sounds odd. He sounds unsure for the first time. I turn to face him with my arms wrapped around my body. I swallow before looking into his eyes. He’s asking me for permission, sort of. At least it seems as though his eyes are asking for my permission for him to stay. I nod my head slightly.
“Could you just stay outside the door?” He’s made it clear that he intends to keep me, though I’m not quite sure why yet or what he plans to do with me, but I can only imagine one reason.
“I’d rather not. You don’t seem stable.” His voice is soft and low, nearly apologetic. “I could stare at the wall, if you’d rather. But I’d like to see you and make sure you’re well.”
His cadence and carefully chosen words leave me at his mercy.
I nod and slowly start to peel off the dirty clothes from my body. My fingers drift over my bare, swollen stomach. I can feel the little indents from the stretch marks on the lower half of my belly. I haven’t thought much of them since they appeared. It’s not as though anyone was going to see them. I look down and see that I now have several marks along the outside of my breasts also. They’ve swollen recently, but I hadn’t realized they’d give me stretch marks as well. I put my insecurities behind me and drop the clothes in a dirty pile on the clean, white floor and walk forward with purpose. I keep my head down and avoid eye contact with Jude. I can hear him walking behind me, but he’s at least giving me some distance.
I have to uncross my arms to open the door to the shower, but I hesitate. I don’t like him watching me. It feels so wrong. If he senses my uneasiness, he doesn’t show it. His large frame closes in on me as I step into the shower. I turn to stare at him; he’s fully clothed, yet he doesn’t stop outside of the stall. He reaches past me, making me take a small step back closer to the tiled wall as my hands grip my shoulders, allowing my forearms to cover my breasts. I watch as he turns the dials for the shower head and a spray of water comes down behind me, just missing my body. I back against the other side of the stall while he gauges the temperature of the water. I don’t need him to do this, and the act itself is filling my head with more and more questions. I wish he would just leave me be, but I’m in no position to ask for anything. I should be grateful and ensure he has no reason to be upset with me.
After another short moment, I get my wish.
“I’ll wait outside. I’ll be listening though, so if you need anything, don’t hesitate.”
