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Not until she opens her mouth. “I’m sorry. May I leave to get him?” Her eyes don’t leave the floor as she whispers her request. My hands go numb as a cold wave washes over my body. The electricity between us dims to nothing as she shifts uncomfortably. “I’m sorry.” She speaks softly with true remorse. She swallows as her eyes dart to mine after a moment of silence.
My heart is fucking shattered at her submissive posture. “There’s nothing to be sorry for.” My hand finds hers on the bed and squeezes. “You don’t need permission.” I lean across the bed and kiss her lips with a tenderness I haven’t shown her yet. I need her to feel my love. To feel this. She leans into the kiss and lifts her small hand to my jaw. It hovers with a moment of hesitation before she actually touches me. My wolf rumbles with approval and brushes against my chest, wanting to feel more of her touch. But I have to pull back and let her tend to the baby who lets out another piercing wail.
LENA
My son wriggles in my arms, waking me. My eyes slowly open and I can’t help but to smile down at him. Safe and so far from a fate I worried about. Adjusting him in the crook of my arm, I hold him just right so he can eat. Hungry little wolf. It’s been so long since falling asleep hasn’t been met with fear of what could come in the morning. My smile slips as I feel Jude’s heavy arm across my hips. He’s on his side and quietly snoring. A hint of the smile returns as I peek up at his handsome face. I adjust again so I can see him better, still cradling my little one. Jude’s plump lips are parted and smooshed against the pillow.
I don’t know what to think of this wolf. Or what his true intentions are. I don’t even know if I can believe him, but I don’t understand why he would do so much for me if he didn’t truly think he was mated to me. All I know is that this child of mine isn’t the only pup who needs me and needs me to make the right steps moving forward and with caution.
With the early morning light filtering in, I’m desperate to find Addy and Reese. It’s early, but I’d like to be there when they wake up. Yesterday was odd with the other women. They seem very friendly, but I’m wary still. I don’t know what this pack has planned for me and my family. Jude claims he’s my mate and that may very well save me. My eyes fall on his massive, muscular body. Any woman would be lucky to have him as a mate. At least from what I know of him so far. But this isn’t the first time I’ve been claimed by a wolf, and I don’t know what to believe.
There is warmth when I see him and think of him, probably because of what he did last night. I’ve never felt such pleasure. And of course I’m grateful. I’m indebted to him.
But the pull of a mate? That doesn’t exist for me.
It takes a bit of maneuvering, but I’m able to slip out from his hold while keeping my son in my arms. My stomach growls as I tiptoe out to the dresser. I quickly and quietly change his diaper, watching how his little legs kick out and then bunch back up. His eyes seem to focus on my face, but only for a moment. My heart swells with happiness in my chest. I still need to name him, but I have no idea what he should be called. I’m of the belief that names hold value and I want his name to represent strength. He’s going to need it to survive this world. I bundle him up and quietly leave Jude’s bedroom to search for my niece and nephew. I need to make sure they slept all right and that they’ve eaten. I don’t truly trust anyone here.
The absolute truth of what’s happened is that I don’t know what to think or believe and I’m terrified of what’s to come because it’s out of my control.
I’m momentarily shocked as I hear Addy’s laugh over the pads of my feet smacking along the wooden hall floor. I slow my steps and listen.
“So how old are you?” I think that’s Grace’s voice.
“Two, silly.” Addy giggles again. Her little voice is full of joy.
“Two! Two!” Reece squeals and shrieks with laughter. Emotions make my throat dry and tears prick. They’re laughing. It’s been so long since I’ve heard them laugh.
My inhale stutters and I try to contain myself.
“No Reece. No!” Even on the verge of tears, I have to stifle a laugh at Addy scolding Reece. “You one.” I peek my head around the corner. Wearing nothing but a diaper, Reece is seated on the tabletop playing with orange slices. He shoves one in his mouth and smiles. Lizzie puts her hands up and hides behind them before poking her head around the side and quickly hiding again. Reece shrieks with delight.
“So you’re the oldest then?” Grace talks to Addy and Addy nods her head dramatically.
Her chin nearly bounces off her chest. “Yea.” She finally gets out a word before snagging one of Reece’s orange slices. “Mo’ please!” She holds the orange in front of Grace as though she’s offering it, but quickly shoves it into her mouth and giggles at Grace’s playful, offended reaction.
“I didn’t get any oranges! Could I have one? Please?” Grace holds her finger up and pleads with Addy.
Reece shrieks something unrecognizable and tries to push an orange into Grace’s mouth. The room fills with genuine laughter and it’s nearly too much. It’s hard to believe it’s real, like there isn’t an ulterior motive I haven’t seen. Like we aren’t being used. I gently pat my son’s bottom and rock him in my arms to soothe him as I watch the women take care of my family. I remember what Lizzie said to calm me when my baby was coming. I remember that bond, and soothing energy overwhelms me. I’m so grateful I have the help. Tears form in my eyes. I’m overwhelmed with the intense emotions riding through me.
I want nothing more than for this to be real.
As I hear Jude’s loud steps come from behind me, I still. I’d planned to go back. I didn’t want to upset him again. Air freezes in my lungs, and my hands tighten on my son. I hold him close to my chest and swallow the lump growing in my throat. He won’t be pleased. I should have gone back immediately.
With a deep rumble behind me, his hands wrap around my hips, and he pulls my back into his hard chest. A calming wave flows through me at his firm but loving touch. His soft lips plant a kiss on my neck and I tilt my head to offer him more. “There you are.” My body involuntarily pushes into him, and I arch my back, nuzzling my ass into him. My eyes widen. I have no idea why I did that. Or why my body heats from head to toe at the feel of him hardening against my ass. I’m gifted a rumble of approval that vibrates through his hard chest as he kisses my hair and runs his fingers along the sides of my stomach.
It feels…different.
“Did you just get up?” His question reminds me of my disobedience; I stiffen slightly and part my lips to apologize, but he interrupts me. “I want to make pancakes for the kiddos. They can eat pancakes right?”
My shoulders relax as I chance a look at him, peeking over my shoulder. His eyes shine with devotion and love as I nod. “They haven’t had them before, but they can eat them.” He grins and kisses my cheek before leaving me and heading toward the kitchen. He glances over his shoulder. “You want some too, baby? You’ve got to be hungry after last night.” He smirks at me as he walks ahead and that feeling comes back. Just an ounce of it…of something I haven’t felt before.
JUDE
She’s denied me but I think she’s coming around. I’ll show her what being a true mate means. She’s jaded from the shit Shadow put her through. At least that’s what I’ve gathered from the little bits and pieces she’s told me over the last few hours. She’s kept to her word, giving me little bits of what happened to help me understand and letting me ask questions. She’s jaded from more than just Shadow… there’re also the fucking seers.
Seers keep screwing me over. First they play my father against me and my brothers. And now my mate has yet another reason to question my claim to her all because of something a seer once told her. The seers are wrong. I’ve no intention of going back to my father’s pack and never will. Life is good with Devin. I trust him to make the right decisions, so I don’t have to worry about anything other than my mate and her happiness. I glance at Lena, grateful to be outside under the warmth of the afternoon sun. This morning has been easy going so far, little conversations kept light, and small moments where I swear she must feel something.
I watch Lena swing little Reece in her arms as he giggles. I glance between them and our little one who’s fighting sleep in Lizzie’s arms.
