AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Don’t call me sir.” I bite the hard words out and immediately regret them as she flinches. With steadying breath, I ask her what I must so I understand. “Did he have you call him sir?” She noticeably swallows as she stares straight into my chest and nods before whispering a small “yes.”
“I’m not him. I’m not Shadow. I’m your true mate.” My heated, firm words have her eyes flying to meet mine. Her lips part, but she slams them shut before lowering her eyes to my chest once again and nodding. It’s a nod of obedience, not acceptance.
The words have left me. The absolute truth… and she doesn’t believe me. Any hope I had is gone and I question what I’ve done just now. I thought she felt it.
My hand wraps gently around her throat before traveling to her chin to lift her eyes to meet mine. I stare into her eyes, pleading for her to feel it. To feel an ounce of what I feel toward her. If she could feel this way, this love and devotion, the past pains would wane. I know they would. I can ease so much pain and take it from her. It’s all I want. To give her a beautiful life.
“You are my mate. I feel the pull to you.” I swallow thickly as she says nothing. I don’t even know if she believes me. “Do you feel anything for me?” Her eyes soften as she searches my silver gaze. Tears brim in her eyes as she shakes her head no. My nostrils flare in anger, not at her, not at all, only because she has no pull to me whatsoever. I was a fool to think fate would have mercy on me after what I was put through as a pup.
“He had no rights to you. You. Are. Mine.” I growl out the words, barely containing my need to claim her right now. The full moon is still days away, but my need to sink my teeth into her skin, over that unrighteous mark, overwhelms all my other senses.
Her lower lip wobbles and I can tell she wants to say something, but she’s holding back. “Tell me.” It’s a command, one that resonates from deep inside of me, from a place I’ve never felt before, and she dutifully obeys. It makes me feel like a piece of shit. She’s obeying because that’s what she’s been trained to do. What he trained her to do.
“He had a pull to me as well.”
“Bullshit!” I jump out of the bed and run my hands through my hair as I watch her shrink into the mattress away from me. Fuck! Heat races through me as my head spins. I need to get a grip. I run my hands down my face and lower myself to my knees in front of her. God help me. Someone fucking help me. I’m only making this worse. I need to fucking calm down so I stop frightening her.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper as quickly as I can. “I’m not angry at you.” Lifting my head, I find her eyes piercing into mine. I sigh heavily and stare at my mate trying to reflect my compassion and praying for her to understand. “I shouldn’t have yelled. I hate that I yelled. I’m sorry.” She nods, watching me as if she doesn’t know what to make of me.
Attempting to silence the rage, I sit back on the edge of the bed. She doesn’t move away from me, and I take my time, gently placing my hand on her leg, rubbing small circles on the tender skin on her thigh. She still hasn’t moved, and I can’t help but to think she’s learned that behavior. To simply not move when faced with aggression. It sickens me.
“I want you here. I want you to tell me everything.” I pat my thigh and she nods in understanding. I help her, pulling her into my lap and nuzzling my head into the crook of her neck, planting a soft small kiss there.
I breathe slowly, just holding her and letting the feeling of my mate in my lap calm me. I pull her back against my chest and sit her ass against my dick. My erection hasn’t gone down for a single moment. It can’t with the full moon so close and my mate so near. My rage has only fueled my need. But I’m not going to give in to it. Not like this. “Please forgive my outburst.”
“I forgive you.” Her words come out instantly and again I get the feeling that it’s a learned behavior. It makes my heart crumple in my chest. I press my lips together to avoid questioning her. I need time to figure out how the hell I’m going to help my sweet little mate and convince her that my pull to her exists and it’s real. Not like the fucking lie that Shadow fed to her.
“Can we talk another time?” she asks, at first staring ahead, but in my silence, she peers up at me. “I’m tired and I have a lot to think about.”
My heart beats hard against my chest and she glances down, as if she felt it or heard it. A glimmer of hope torments me, wanting me to believe she can feel the pull.
I swallow the lump in my throat and tell her “of course” even though every second that passes draws a deeper gouge into my agony.
“I’m going to take a shower.” I whisper the words into her neck and gently set her on the bed next to me. Her lips part, but again slam shut. I close my eyes in anguish. She won’t even talk to me. She feels the need to censor herself and I don’t like it. “What?” I open my eyes and give her a small, forced smile. “Tell me whatever it is.”
Her eyes dart to the floor and then back to mine. “Can I set up the baby monitor? Is that okay?” Her voice is so small and full of defeat. As though I’d deny her that request. I shake my head at my stupidity. Of course I should have thought of that.
“Did you get one today?”
“Grace and Lizzie brought me more things for the baby.” She keeps her head down as she speaks and I fucking hate it. I’m ashamed that her submission turned me on in the least.
“Have you decided what you’re going to call him?” I try to lighten the conversation, but my voice is uneven as I push the words out.
“No.” Her fingers play with the hem of her nightgown with nervousness. I only nod my head and look past her at the door to the bathroom. I need some fucking distance to wrap my head around all this shit.
“Do you need anything else?”
I fucking hope the answer is yes so I can give her whatever it is that she needs, but she shakes her head and barely speaks, “No, s?—”
My jaw ticks as she stops herself from saying “sir.”
She twists her fingers in her hand as she realizes her mistake. I decide to ignore it and not bring any more attention to it. “Do you need any help?” I bristle with anger and tension toward myself and I’m doing a shitty job at hiding either of them from my scared mate.
She shakes her head but at least meets my eyes. “Okay then. Go ahead and set up whatever you need.” I walk around the bed to the bathroom, but I don’t fucking breathe until I close the door. I want to pound my fist into the wall, but that’ll only scare her even more. Fuck! I turn the shower on but keep the temperature low. I need to cool down. I stand with both hands against the wall as the water hits the back of my head and my back, dripping down my face and falling off my lips onto the floor. What the fuck am I going to do?
I’ve told her she’s my mate and she doesn’t believe me. Tears of anger and despair prick my eyes. She frightened of me and afraid to do anything because she thinks she’ll disappoint me. Fuck! My hand balls into a fist and I’m desperate to let out every emotion that brings me to my knees. It’s a death you’re forced to live through when a mate denies you.
I wish I could take out all of this anger onto that piece-of-shit shifter. His lifeless body flashes before my eyes. I ball my hand into a fist and slam it against the wall as a snarl leaves my chest. The tiles crack at the impact, leaving blood and shattered pieces of marble to fall to the floor. She can probably hear it, but the release is exactly what I need. I keep myself from doing it again and again like I really fucking want to. I lean my head back, close my eyes, and let the water splash on my face as I feel my hand heal.
