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Now that everyone from that night has been handled and no one else can attach Summer and Gabe to me, I should disappear. That way, when the fall out happens, they will be safe.
However, as I maneuver the jeep back to my apartment to clean it, my only thought is getting back home to Summer.
Two hours later, when I walk into the back door, my thoughts are still on what I should be doing.
I should walk in and tell her I’m leaving. I should hug my son one last time and kiss Summer before disappearing out of their lives.
When I turn the corner into the living room, I spot Summer sitting on the couch. A grocery bag in her lap, a pair of scissors in her hands as she cuts the braids out of her hair.
She looks at me and smiles. “I have a hair appointment in the morning. I have to take these braids out. It’s time.”
This is it. This is the time to tell her goodbye. It was never meant to last forever. Mother tried to warn me of this numerous times. I’m not made for happily ever afters. I’ll never be able to tame the darkness inside me.
“You okay?” Her soft voice asks.
I pause, looking for the right words to say goodbye. To say this is the end.
“Yeah. You need help?” I ask, dropping my black duffle on the floor at my feet.
As much as I know what I’m supposed to do, the words will not come out.
“That demon has you, Boy. Your selfishness will cause her death. You are godless,” Mother taunts in my head.
In this, she is right. For once, I’m allowing that darkness in me to win. I can’t give them up.
I walk into the living room and sit down on the couch beside her. She gets up and sits on the floor between my legs. She then hands me a comb with a long pointy end.
“Use the point to help you take the braids out,” she instructs.
She then turns to our dragon show. For two hours, I help Summer take her braids out. When we are done, I help her wash her hair in the shower, then fuck her up against the wall.
Whatever happens, I’ll be here to keep her safe, but I can’t let her go.
Chapter Thirty-Five
The Run-In
Summer
“I was in the club for over an hour. Not once did I get the itch or the urge. I just vibed and enjoyed the atmosphere. I hadn’t been able to do that in years. I even got offered a hit and I turned it down.”
Today was my monthly meeting with Shay. Instead of our usual restaurant, she and I were meeting at a park.
I haven’t talked to my mother since that blow up a month ago. She’s been calling lately but I don’t have anything to say to her. Since she was my usual babysitter for these meetings, I had to bring Gabe with me. At the moment, he’s going up and down the slide with his Iron Man toy.
“That is incredible, Summer. I’m so proud of you,” Shay says. We’re sitting at a picnic table not far from the play area.
A warmth spreads throughout my body. Shay has been a big part of my recovery, and I couldn’t wait to share this moment with her.
“Thank you. I still have no plans to hang out at a club every night, but it felt good to face that monster.”
She chuckles. “It should feel good. You faced a huge trigger and came out unscathed. That should always be celebrated. When I saw my son’s father for the first time after rehab, I broke out in a sweat. I ran from that man like he was a rabid dog.”
We both laugh at her analogy. Shay’s son’s father is the person that got her hooked-on drugs.
“Lately, I’ve just been feeling…” I search for the right words to explain my mood lately.
“Happy?” She questions with the quirk of her brow.
