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The men follow me without saying a word. I’m honestly shocked. I figured they’d demand to know why I didn’t let them answer my brother. Then again, maybe they really were tired. It’s close to midnight now. I know I’m exhausted.
I point out the available rooms and make sure they don’t need anything before heading to bed myself, my mind full of the new knowledge of the men I’m stuck with for a while. I thought it would be easy to do this one quest with them, but now I’m not so sure I can do this without losing my heart in the process. They are already wiggling past my defenses and I’m not sure there is anything I can do about it. When the fates have a plan for you, it doesn’t matter how hard you fight against it. Some things can’t be stopped, no matter how much you wish it could be.
I fall into an uneasy sleep, my dreams full of images that seem more prophecy than dream. Gods help me if it’s true. I’m screwed, completely and not as reluctantly as I thought I’d be.
Chapter 10
I knew Az was in my room before I even woke up completely. My head is pounding and the grittiness of my eyes tell me that it was way too early to be up yet. I should have known he wouldn’t let it go though. Az is like a dog with a bone when he wants to know something. Apparently, the reason for the guys being here is something he really wants to know.
“Astra, I know you’re not asleep, I can feel it. Open those eyes and talk to me or I’ll go wake those men and make them tell me what I want to know.”
The magic that surges through the room is a big indicator that he is one-hundred percent serious. Az has never been so comfortable letting his magic free as he is right now. I can’t even feel the trepidation in our bond that’s usually there. Something in the last three months has changed my beautiful brother. It makes me nervous, but the change is, in my humble opinion, great!
“Little Brother, I’m not sure what is going on with you, but I think I like it.” My eyes are closed tightly, but I roll my body over in my large bed, moving until my body is pressed against the side of my brother.
His arm comes down and wraps around my shoulder, holding me close like he used to do when we were little. His warm honey scent surrounds me and I finally feel at home. I’ve missed him more than my pride will let me express. Still, I know he wants answers, and he deserves them. Anything that affects my life impacts him as well.
“I have a mission, Az. And they have information I need. They are doing some quest that apparently coincides with what I need to do.”
“Yes, I figured that out, what I want to know is why you’re fighting the mate bond so hard.”
Ahazu Morningdew ladies and gentlemen, cutting through the bullshit to get to the heart of the issue. He doesn’t pull any punches, he doesn’t sugar coat anything or give it gently. My brother has always had a way of making me face the true problems and usually, he drags me kicking and screaming to the solution that makes everything so much easier.
“I don’t want mates, Ahazu.” I finally open my eyes and stare into his white gaze.
Ahazu scoffs at my answer, pulling his hand away from my shoulder to cross his arms against his chest. He stares down at me, one brow lifting in a way that tells me he wants the truth. The issue is, that is the truth … mostly.
“I don’t!” I exclaim, looking into his face and blinking my eyes to portray my innocence. He believes it almost as much as a cat loves water.
“Let’s not start lying to each other, Big Sister. You’ve talked about finding a mate since we were old enough to talk and know what a mate bond is. You have always wanted mates, and now they are here and you are pushing them away. Why?”
I turn over, laying with my back to my brother. I don’t want to answer, to hear all the reasons why I’m being stupid like I don’t already know that I am. He isn’t wrong. The sweet little girl inside of me is thrilled that we have such strong capable mates, but the ruthless killer in me … she knows we don’t deserve them. I am death. Even my magic isn’t good for anything that doesn’t aid in my pursuit of death and killing.
“Astrate, you are exactly the person the goddess made you to be. You are beautiful, fierce, loyal and protective of the ones you love. You don’t back down from a challenge or get scared. You push through all the shit this life throws at us and you do it with that sassy little grin on your face.” Az chuckles under his breath, sliding down on the bed so he is snuggling me, his arm around my waist as he tucks into my side. “You’ve never denied a gift from the goddess, don’t start now. Those men, they may not have come when you wanted them to, but they came when you needed them. It’s not up to us to question Her will, we are only meant to follow her and accept the things she gives us.”
“This isn’t a new power, Az. I can’t try out having mates then decide if I want them or need them. If I give into the bond now, it's for life. They will be stuck with me forever.”
“You don’t think I had the same reservations when it came to my mates? Do you think it was easy for me to take off the gloves and accept that my magic is a part of me and that my mates accepted and loved it like they do the rest of my person?” He uses his free hand to stroke my hair, easing the tension in my body some. “They are adults, they can choose to deny the bond. But you aren’t giving them a chance to decide that. You’re taking their choice away, doing the one thing you hate most in this world.”
“Cleaning the bathroom in the guys locker room?” I smart at him, knowing good and well what he meant, but still not ready to face the truth.
“Taking away their ability to choose for themselves. You’re robbing them of their opportunity. And yourself.”
I take a deep breath and really think about what he is saying. He isn’t wrong. I’ve stood by the fact that taking someone’s choice away, no matter what it is, is wrong. Everyone on this planet and the next and all the realms attached to them, should have the right to decide what they want. Az is also right about me taking their choices if I don’t give them a chance to earn my love.
“Fine, I’ll give them a chance, but I’m sure as fuck not going to make it easy on them.” He smirks at me, pulling my back to his chest and hugging me tight around the waist. He kisses the back of my head then rolls off the bed, almost pulling me with him. “Ahh! Get out you monster!”
I scream, throwing a pillow at my laughing brother as he walks out my room and closes the door behind him. Groaning, I roll back over into the middle of the bed where I like to sleep and throw the covers over my head. My mind is still running a hundred miles an hour. Thoughts of each of the men I feel drawn to, the mission we face, and what my future could look like, swirl around and around. So many possibilities and I’m not sure what scares me more; how excited I am at the thought of them being my mates, or how terrified I am about possibly facing a future without them.
Time ticks by and I know that I have to get up. The sun is just getting past the horizon and I know for a fact that Glavior has a fondness for getting up before the sun. I can’t imagine he’s changed much in the last two years. With one more groan, I get up and take a shower, preparing myself for what is undoubtedly about to be the longest fucking day of my life.
Once clean, I stand in my large walk in closet, trying to decide what to wear. Az’s words about giving the guys a chance to earn my heart ring in my head and my mind is made up. If I’m going to court five guys, I’m going to do it looking hot as fuck! I pull on tight leather pants the same color as my eyes, a tight black bralette with hanging tassels and my knee high combat boots. I leave my long white hair hanging loosely down my back, the tips hanging just under my ass.
I line my eyes with a thin layer of kohl and paint my lips with a lip stain I made of black rose petals. Dallie makes fun of me because I refuse to use the human’s modern makeup, but to me, the stuff I can make myself is much more beautiful. When I feel ready, I walk downstairs, mentally telling myself that everything will be fine. The guys can’t be as perfect as they seem and there’s no way they can make me fall in love with them in the short amount of time it will take to complete this mission. If I don’t mate with them before the mission is complete, then I’ll reject the bond and say that I tried but it didn’t work out.
All my thoughts come to a crashing halt though, when I walk into the kitchen and see all five guys working together to make breakfast. Glavior is wearing tight brown leather pants, no shirt, and leather and fur bracers on his forearms, his hair is pulled back into a man bun and his bare feet slap against the tiled floor as he paces back and forth, glaring at the oven while he is holding his right wrist with his left hand. I can see the angry red flesh blistering from across the room.
Dree is following behind Glavior, now wearing loose fitting pants that move like leaves in the wind as he walks, he too is shirtless, and has two wide leather cuffs with a family crest stamped in the middle of them on his wrists. His hair seems a bit more tamed today, hanging in loose curls and stopping above his shoulders. I can see water dripping from the ends of his hair onto his chest and have to swallow hard to distract myself from the sight.
