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Ouch. Leave it to the kids to keep their parents humble.
Truth be told, I couldn’t answer that question. Somewhere, though I’d buried the notion deep, I knew, back then, that she didn’t love me as she once had. But had she lost all affection for me before she left? I didn’t think so. Though we weren’t speaking, I still loved her, and I thought she loved me too. Even when all we did was fight. But I got it. Marigold had to take the leap. She had to leave, because I never would have been able to do it. No matter how bad things were at home.
The car in front of us pulled forward, and I eased off the brake, silently begging the next few kids climbing out of cars to move a little faster.
“You’d have to ask her, bud.”
“So you want us to ask her?”
My heart dropped into my stomach. “No,” I shouted, far too loud for such an enclosed space.
In absolutely no circumstance did I need my sons asking my ex-wife if she still loved me.
I cleared my throat and pulled forward again, tightening my grip on the steering wheel. “I mean, no need. Let’s not mention it to her, all right? It might upset her.”
Dallas nodded and looked back down at his backpack, strangely quiet.
Miles spoke next. “So you don’t want to upset Mom?”
An easy one. “No, of course not. Just because we’re divorced doesn’t mean I want her upset.”
Single dad of the year award. Step aside, Hank Marshall.
“Because you love her?”
Oof.
“No, not necessarily.” I brought my forearm to my face and wiped at the sweat beading on my brow.
One. More. Car.
“It’s okay, Dad. You don’t have to explain.” Miles looked at Dallas, and Dallas turned to Miles. In unison, they nodded in some unknown agreement.
I tipped my chin and curled a brow at them in the rearview mirror. “Wait. What was—”
“Oh, look at that. We’re here. Bye, Dad. Love you!” Dallas was out of the car before he’d finished shouting, and Miles was hot on his heels.
My stomach knotted as I watched them dart to the building. I would be paying for that conversation later, for sure. Why did kids have to be so curious? Why did they have to ask all the hard questions? What had happened to the days of asking who my favorite Pixar character was?
The farther I got from the school, the more my lungs and my shoulders relaxed. After a few minutes, I could finally take in a full breath. I couldn’t blame them for asking. I had questions too. Ones I still didn’t have answers to after six and a half years. But what purpose would bringing them up serve, other than to rehash a history that had no business being brought back up? Especially when we were finally at a place where we could be in the same room without arguing. Okay, it had happened once, so maybe we weren’t officially there. But I had hope. If nothing more, we’d gotten better at tolerating each other.
Ten minutes down the road, a light on the instrument panel flashed, and my car dinged. Lifting one hand, I glanced from the road to the dash, catching sight of the low tire pressure warning. Three tires were perfectly fine, but the back passenger tire was quite a bit lower.
I’d gotten new tires recently, so maybe the gauge was off, but the car was relatively new. I couldn’t imagine that malfunctioning either.
Luckily, I’d stuck to the back roads in hopes of avoiding traffic on the way to work. So I pulled onto the shoulder and put the car in park. With a swipe at my brow, which had mostly stopped sweating, I hopped out and jogged around to the other side.
Sure enough, the tire was as flat as could be. Shit. I was going to be late for sure. And Melinda had already been on me about slipping out on Wednesday mornings. Now I’d have to brace myself to be yelled at in Spanish again, and I was not in the mood.
I needed a ride and quick. I dug my phone out of my pocket and tapped on the Messages app. There were close to a dozen new messages in the thread dedicated to the Wells brothers and Nathan. Crew had named it the boys are back. Which didn’t make sense since none of us had left, but we kind of just let it slide. When Crew was involved, it was easier not to ask.
Crew: Boys night friday? I’m trying to do something new
Adam: What does “new” mean to you?
Crew: Skydiving. Bungee jumping. Climbing a frozen waterfall.
Luke: Drinks at Romfuzzled?
