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She swallowed. When he left the other day, she never thought she’d see him again. “About what?”
“Us.”
She suddenly felt very, very tired. Life was a cruel bitch. One minute she had everything. The next minute she had nothing at all. The world had been pressing down on her for days, and she didn’t have the energy to do much at the moment. She wanted to crawl into bed and sleep for twelve hours but couldn’t.
Theo was back in school, and the bus would be dropping him off soon. Then she needed to review her budget. She’d gone over last week. She’d have to be more judicious about the treats she purchased for her son—at least for the time being. Without knowing when she’d get another job, she had to be careful and make her money stretch for as long as possible.
“Bruno, as I explained to you before, I have a lot going on, and I don’t have the bandwidth to deal with anything else. I’m sorry about what I said to you last time you were here. The mistake I made was mine and mine alone. Story of my life. I screwed up. I guess I thought I was old enough to know better by now. Theo will be home soon, so…”
“Is that a yes or a no?”
“Excuse me?”
“I asked if we could talk, but you haven’t answered the question. Yes or no?” His voice was emotionless, and she couldn’t tell if he was angry at her or not.
Part of her wanted to say no, but she couldn’t bring herself to let the word leave her lips. She was curious about what he had to say, and frankly, it was good to see him. She missed him. She missed his dreamy gray eyes that almost always turned her knees to jelly when they focused on her for more than five seconds.
She missed his sense of humor and how he made her feel treasured and cared for. Like the night he insisted on driving her to the hospital because he knew she was falling apart with worry, and then he stayed for hours until they came out. She thought about that a lot—how he had stayed and he didn’t have to.
“Yes, we can talk, but Theo will be home soon.”
He extended his hand, and she gave him the bags.
“After you,” Bruno said.
Marissa led the way up the stairs. Inside the apartment, Bruno placed the groceries on the counter.
It felt strange to see him and not touch him, but she wasn’t sure what to do with her hands at the moment, so she clasped them in front of her.
“You shouldn’t have shut me out,” he said.
She nodded her agreement. She’d been emotional and not thinking straight. “I guess I had to separate myself from the fantasy of being with you. We had fun?—”
“We had more than fun. We were in a relationship. I gave you space because you asked me to, but we need to talk about what happened and how to move forward.”
“I don’t expect anything from you,” she said.
He frowned. “Maybe you’re saying that because you don’t want to be disappointed, but you should expect plenty from me. For God’s sake, I’m rich!”
Her brother had pretty much told her the same thing using different words.
He continued. “I’m sorry about what happened at your job, and despite what you said, I do feel responsible. I invited you to California, and that was the beginning of our relationship. Your life is upended because of me.”
Marissa shrugged. “I’m an adult. I knew what I was doing.”
“Which is why I don’t understand why you shut me out,” Bruno said.
“For self-preservation. What happened between us was thrilling and exciting—the most excitement I’ve ever experienced in my life. Your family was welcoming and treated me and my son as if we were part of the family.”
Her throat hurt with emotion as she thought about the wedding and Theo’s excitement about making new friends. The food, the castle-like mansion, and the fireworks. He’d talked about the wedding for days and had drawn a picture that alerted Chet to her relationship with Bruno.
“Then there was the other stuff—flying to L.A. for the James Beard Awards, the dinners, the gifts—all way beyond my wildest dreams. But I know all of that was only temporary, and I can’t concentrate on being wined and dined right now when I’m wondering if I’ll be able to pay my bills in six months.”
“Paying your bills is not something you should have to worry about,” Bruno said.
“But that’s my reality.”
“Your reality was also going on trips and receiving gifts from me, and I don’t know why you believe what happened between us was only temporary. I care deeply about you. I can’t sleep because I miss you and long to talk to you. The only reason I didn’t come sooner was because I wanted to respect your boundaries.”
