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I felt my cheeks warm. “Iamsorry for lying.”
“Don’t be.” Collin cleared his throat. “We all tell lies every so often to get what we need.”
I raised my eyebrows but decided not to question it. Especially when we were at the gate to the estate. My stomach knotted and I clenched my hands between my thighs. “I did what I did to Jud for a good reason. You both needed him. I don’t know if he’ll see it that way, though. I hurt him.”
“He’ll get over it. And then hopefully he’ll forgive us for being monsters.” Joe rubbed his hands down his face and immediately swore. “Fuck, that hurts.”
I moved closer to him and picked up the cream they’d made sure to bring with them. I spread a thin layer over his raw skin and then moved over to Collin to take care of him, too. Once I was finished I closed the jar and stared down at my hands. It was second nature to me to care for them. I wanted to do it. I’d had a dozen different jobs and the only one I’d ever enjoyed was taking care of the Carringtons.
“Ada?”
I looked up at Collin and raised my eyebrows. “Yeah?”
“Try not to take too long forgiving us. I miss being able to touch you.”
The car stopped and I rushed out to stop myself from doing anything stupid, like throwing myself at the two men I was trying to keep my distance from.
I looked up at the mansion and forced my anxiety down deep. “I need to make sure Jud’s okay before I do anything else.”
Joe winced and nodded. “Yep. Sure.”
I didn’t let myself wonder why he was being so weird. I just followed him into the house and tried to contain my emotion when the smell of the house hit me. It smelled like home and I desperately missed being home.
I heard Milo’s squeals from the library and froze when I looked inside. Sitting on the floor with his son, playing toy trucks, was Jud.
69
***Jud***
Thebreathygaspdrewmy attention and when I saw Ada standing in the doorway to the library, I had to blink a few times to convince myself I was really seeing her. They’d convinced her to come back with them. I didn’t know what to feel. My heart was beating wildly at seeing her again but I was nervous. She’d come back for Collin and Joe. She left me because of them. They were her focus and I wasn’t sure where I fit in.
Milo ran a truck into my leg, still playing because he hadn’t spotted Ada yet. I looked down to stop him from bruising my leg and when I looked back up, Ada was gone. So were my brothers. Had they already gone off to celebrate? Was Ada not interested in seeing me? I was on my feet before I could think through what I was doing.
“Play with your toys, Milo.” I ruffled his hair and hurried towards the hallway but I stopped when I heard Ada’s angry voice just outside the door.
“You told me he was locked away again! You told me he was lost in his darkness again. You lied to get me back here! I never would’ve come back if you hadn’t tricked me. I came back for him, to make sure he was okay, but he’s fine! He’s not hiding. He’s playing with his son! Why did you do that? You scared me. You made me think Jud was in danger to get what you wanted.”
I hated that she was angry and I wanted to throttle my brothers for using me to trick her but I couldn’t help the smile that stretched my lips. She’d come back for me.
“I told a lie for the greater good, Ada. He does need you. We all do. You belong here with us.” Joe sounded panicked. “Ada, I love you!”
I stepped into the hallway and stared at my older brother. His face was bright red and he looked rough but his eyes were sincere and damp as he stared down at Ada.
“I’m sorry to just shout it at you like that, but I do. I love you and I need you. I don’t want to lose you, Ada. I don’t want to spend another night with you away from us.” He wiped his eyes and winced. “Please, just stay. If you can’t forgive me, I’ll have to understand, but you do belong here. With Jud. With Collin. With our kids.”
Ada took a step closer to him. “You love me?”
Joe let out a rough laugh and nodded. “Fuck, yes, I do. I’m miserable from it. Loving you and knowing I hurt you is killing me. Loving you and not being able to touch you is miserable. I just want to make things right.”
“Loving me makes you miserable?” There was a lightness to Ada’s voice that hadn’t been there before.
“No. I- I’m not doing this right.” Joe tried to say more but Ada closed the distance between them and kissed him.
I glanced over at Collin and saw him shifting from foot to foot. I knew he’d never told a woman he loved her, not even his ex-wife. He’d treated every relationship as a transaction but the way he looked at Ada, I knew he loved her. I just didn’t know if he knew it.
Ada pulled back from Joe and turned into Collin. She wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him. “It’s okay. You can touch me.”
Collin snapped like a rubberband. He scooped her into his arms and lifted her off the floor as he buried his face in her hair. “Fuck, Ada. I just need to hold you for a minute.”
