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He stares right into my eyes. ‘Do you really think I’d go from your arms to another woman in one evening?’ He lifts his chin. ‘That’s what you thought I did a year ago. And apparently nothing that’s happened in the last few days has done anything to change your opinion of me.’
I want to shrivel up.
‘Does it mean nothing to you that I was celibate for a year?’ he asks.
I try to shrug. ‘That’s normal for me—’
‘But if you’d met someone else?’
‘I didn’t...’ I whisper. But I had chances. Handsome men came through the café all the time. Both before and after I had that night with him. But I was drawn to Dain in a way I’ve never been drawn to any other person.
‘Why are you still so willing to believe the worst of me?’ he asks.
He’s hurt. Really hurt. My emotions spin. I’m making everything worse. Handling this all so incredibly badly. He doesn’t deserve any of this. He deserves so much more than I can give and the least I can offer him now is that truth. He should hear it directly from me. Because I do know how much honesty matters to him.
‘Tonight was a mistake,’ I mumble. ‘I lost control. It isn’t really you...’
His pupils dilate. ‘I—’
‘No, actually it is you,’ I blurt in confusion. ‘I just really need to find a way to stop liking you.’
He stares at me. He doesn’t get it.
I inhale deeply but it doesn’t loosen that too tight, suffocating feeling in my chest. ‘I want you to be happy. You deserve to be happy.’
‘Wow—’
‘I want you to be free.’
‘We have a child together, Talia.’
‘Yes, but that shouldn’t stop you from doing what you want. Or being with whoever you want.’
‘So you thought you’d speed up the process by finding someone else for me to sleep with?’
‘Cheating is a hard line for me.’
‘So it will make it easier for you if I sleep with someone else, is that actually what you’re saying?’
I brace inwardly. ‘Better still if you married someone else. But we both know that isn’t going to happen.’
His jaw drops. ‘This is about the most screwed-up, irrational thing I have ever heard. And I heard some messed-up shit between my parents, Talia. I sure as hell don’t need your help in finding a new sexual partner.’ Yep, he’s wildly angry and I don’t blame him.
‘I thought you got that,’ he says. ‘I thought we had an understanding.’
Tears prick my eyes. ‘Well, we need a new one.’
‘And you’ve already thought of it.’
‘Yep.’ I barely hold back my emotion. I have to get away from him now. I just have to. ‘I’m going to move into the pool house.’
‘Pardon?’
‘It’ll give us space,’ I blurt, increasingly uncontrolled because my head is killing me and my heart is breaking. ‘I should’ve gone in there in the first place. Lukas will stay in the main house if that’s what you want.’
‘How generous of you. You’ve thought all this through.’ He inhales. ‘You’re this determined not to need me.’
‘No. I’m this determined not to love you.’
