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Me too. Goddamn, me too.
Never wanted anything more in my whole life.
And I’m fixing to thrust forward, holding my breath and gripping her thighs, when a pair of voices float around the cabin.
There’s no time. No chance to pull out and get dressed; no chance to cover Tess up. All I can do is press all the way forward—the sweetest gasp—and block the view between her legs, horror jangling in my nerves as my best friend and his wife come into view.
They both freeze, expressions shocked.
Tess whimpers, so quiet only I can hear it.
And Evie beams, practically levitating off the mountainside with delight.
“Yay!” she calls out, clapping her hands. Rowan shoots her a baffled look, then zooms back in on me. There are dozens of emotions flitting across his face, but among them are shock and betrayal.
It’s a bucket of ice water down my back. My hands go clammy on Tess’s thighs, because this is everything I’ve feared; everything I’ve been trying to avoid. Rowan, tossed back into the darkness by my carelessness. Rowan, hating me.
But I force my spine as straight as I can manage, and curl a protective arm around Tess’s back. Regardless of whether I’ve ruined things for life with my buddy, I won’t have ‘em gawping at my girl when she’s vulnerable.
I’ve got new priorities now, and even though I’ll always love Rowan like a brother, Tess is my number one.
“Give us a minute.” My voice sounds all wrong—scraped raw. But Evie sobers up and grabs Rowan’s hand, tugging him back around the cabin out of sight. As they leave, they start muttering in hushed voices.
“Oh. My. God.” Tess sounds faint with horror, and when I look down at her, she’s ghostly pale. My chest squeezes with concern, but there’s nothing I can do except pull out, tuck myself away, then set to dressing her again, all while spouting off the most soothing bullshit I can think of.
“It’s going to be fine. Rowan’s tough. It’ll be me he’s mad at, not you. And you know, over time he’ll get used to it. The shock will wear off. It’s going to be okay, angel.”
“Over time?” Tess sounds dazed, swaying on her feet as I zip up her shorts and rebutton them. She keeps staring into the middle distance, eyes glassy with dismay. “Are you serious? This can’t ever happen again. Did you see Rowan’s face?”
I did, and it was not fun.
But the damage is already done. Right?
“He’ll get used to it,” I say again, fixing Tess’s polo shirt collar so it lies flat, but she bats my hand away and steps out of reach, still staring at nothing.
My body knows before my brain that something is terribly wrong, my stomach plummeting down to my boots.
“Angel?”
“We can’t. We can’t do this.” Finally those gray eyes land on me, glossy with tears, and it’s like a knife in the gut. “I’m sorry, Ash. I shouldn’t have—this is all my fault. I’m the one who started all this, but now…”
“You’re finishing it.”
My heartbeat is sluggish and weak, barely thudding in my chest.
Tess swallows, a tear leaking from her eye, but she’s resolute. “Yeah.”
I take a big step back and scrub both hands down my face. The mountain breeze tousles my hair, pine-scented and cooling already, and I take a moment to listen as the leaves shiver on the trees. Something deep inside me is trembling too, more delicate than any leaf.
I’m leaving.
It’s not what I want, but that doesn’t matter. Tess gets the final say, and she wants me to go. Did I ever really expect anything different? Could this ever have gone another way? Honestly, this feels more like reality than anything else from the last few days.
“Okay, angel. I’ll pack up.”
And I won’t ever trouble this woman again.
Eleven
