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“Don’t get me started. I love that man, but he also knows how to drive me mad.”
“Yeah, I can take you camping if need be. But maybe we can find a cute guy to take you.” Madison raises her brows.
“I mean, I have wanted to try sex outside. Always seems so romantic in the movies when they’re rolling around in a meadow.”
“It’s overrated.” Wren sighs and gives me a doubtful look. “Bugs, leaves where you don’t expect to have them, humidity in the summer… I’m just saying. Go in prepared for the reality rather than the fantasy.”
“Speak for yourself. Some of the best sex of my life was outside.” Madison types the next item onto the list. Wren and I both raise our heads to look at her even though she’s still busy typing.
“Care to enlighten us?” I try to distract her from the list because I think that might be the end of it, and I’m sure she’ll tell me it’s not long enough.
“No. We’re focused on your list. Sex outside because you’re into exhibitionism?”
“No. Not really. I mean, I’m not against it, but I think, if anything, I’d prefer to be on the other end of that scenario. What is that called? Voyeurism? Yeah, voyeurism.”
“Watching can be fun,” Madison muses. “Ooh, what about a sex club then? Have you been to one of those?”
“Can’t say that I have.”
“All right. Voyeuristic experience and possible sex club added to the list.”
“Okay, this is already getting ambitious for me. I need small steps here. First adventures, you know. We’re bouncing from camping in a tent in Wren’s backyard to sex clubs. That’s… a lot.”
“Lists should be ambitious. It’s a goal list. You want to get as much as possible, but it doesn’t have to be everything if you don’t want it to be. You’ve got to challenge yourself and put yourself first, Bea. Get out there and see what you like. This is an opportunity. A chance to have a new you—the one you want without your ex influencing your choices.” Madison gives a little pep talk on her soapbox.
It's one of the reasons I love her. She’s always up for a challenge and pushes me to expand my horizons. I’ve come leaps and bounds from my quiet, prep-school self since I met her. I might have to amend her list down to size when she’s done though.
“There are lots of other fun things you can try at a sex club, too, if you find a guy to go with,” Wren offers.
“I’d have to find the guy first, one I feel comfortable with, and again… no dating, remember?”
“No dating doesn’t mean you couldn’t find a regular hookup. Someone on the same page as you about the no feelings.”
“And where am I going to find this guy? My free time is spent around the team, and in addition to the obvious problems with that, I have absolutely sworn off athletes for life. If guys aren’t after me for my father’s connections, they’re after me for an in with Xander. No thank you.”
“That’s why you’ve got to get on one of the apps. You can filter those people out. Keep your last name private, and no one has to know who you are. Pick guys who aren’t into sports even. I’m adding that to your list. You need to find a new app to try. I’ll send you my favorites, but you can mix and match and swipe your way to someone who fits your wants. You’re so good at this when it comes to setting up clients. Just use a bit of that magic on yourself.”
“Well I’m glad you believe in me. I have my doubts.” I shrug, nibbling the edge of a cracker as I stare out the window.
“You’re gorgeous, Bea. You’re going to be inundated with dicks the second you open a profile and have to try to pick. The weeding through them is a little exhausting. That’s how you end up just settling for the guy you hate.” Wren jokes about how she met her husband.
“Well… thank you. But it still seems a little overwhelming.”
“If you need help setting up your profile or anything… you’ve got me.” Madison gives me a reassuring look.
“You’re the best, Mads.”
“Okay. So assuming we get you the guy… what’s on the kink list?” Wren asks.
“Doesn’t sex outside and voyeurism count?”
“Sure, but you’ve got to have something besides that, right? Something you can try in the sex club when you visit.” Madison smirks.
“I’ve got nothing.”
“Nothing?” Wren questions me, raising a brow.
“Not anything I can think of.”
