Page 27 of Mine to Gain


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I spin the bite of key lime pie on my fork around for a moment while I think about the offer. I want to say yes. Cooper and Lizzy were some of the family I hated giving up in the breakup, and I had lots of fun with them at the county fair, but I worry about being an imposition. Especially on Cooper’s personal life.

“What about me being there with your… friends around? Won’t that be weird? Them wondering who I am?”

“I could just say you’re the nanny.” A wry grin spreads across his face, and I shake my head.

“A nanny to your almost fourteen-year-old?”

“I’m kidding. I generally only have people over when it’s just me, and honestly… like I said. I’m trying to turn the page on that. Lizzy was giving me shit this morning actually, saying that I need to start dating. So… it’s perfect really. You can help me stay on the road to reform.”

“So I get safe, rent-free living, and you get Lizzy entertainment and a live-in cockblock then?”

He laughs, and his eyes go soft as he looks me over. “Yeah. I think it’s a pretty good deal. Very little work on your end for lots of benefits.”

I feel the slightest flutter in my chest, and that right there should be enough to tell me that this is a bad idea. That letting myself get any closer into Cooper’s orbit means I’ll get sucked in completely. But I ignore it and agree to the deal with the devil.

“All right. I suppose that’s too good of an offer to refuse. When do I move in?”

“Tonight, if you’re up for it. We can stop by the hotel on the way back and get all of your things. Easy.”

So easy. Just like that I’m moving in with my ex’s brother to solve all my problems.

11

Beatrix

I’m settled in my bed when Cooper comes into the room to check on me. He’s got a glass of wine and cookies for some reason, like we’re about to have a midnight snack. He’s wearing nothing but his sweats, and they’re hanging lower than usual on his hips. My eyes are drawn down, and while I desperately try to tell myself to stop ogling my new landlord, my dream turns into a nightmare.

Cooper disappears, and the room goes dark. The wine and cookies vanish as quickly as he did. There’s a flash of light at the window, and I see a figure standing in it, silhouetted by a flash of heat lightning in the background. Then there’s a flash of something else—car lights, maybe? But it doesn’t make sense since Cooper’s house is off the main road.

The dread inside my chest grows when the person outside steps closer to the glass. I can feel them watching me, staring at me in the bed. I try to move. Try to get up and run for the door, but nothing in my body cooperates. Not a single muscle or limb does what I ask it to. I’m stuck in the bed, and the panic wells in my throat.

I try to scream. I try to yell for Cooper or anyone who might hear me. I hope that Lizzy can’t. I don’t want her to come running. Don’t want the man outside the room to see her. But I remember that she’s with her mom tonight. I’m alone with Cooper, and if I can just yell loud enough, he might be able to come help me.

Except when I scream, it comes out like a whisper. A barely audible “help,” and it turns my stomach. I can’t move. I can’t scream. I’m trapped, and the man outside could get in and kill me before anyone would even know it was happening. I try again in vain to scream. Attempt one more shot at getting out of bed. But none of it works.

Then I realize what’s happening—I’m still asleep. The stress of everything lately has given me another round of sleep paralysis. I just need to wait it out, give my body time to wake up, and realize that the projection around me is just that. There’s no man at the window. I’ve not been hurt or drugged. I’m safe in bed, and I just have to wake up.

It only takes a moment or two more before I can move freely again, but it feels like an eternity. I blink and shake my head, sitting up the moment I can and looking around the room. Just like I suspected, there’s no man at the window and no storm outside. There’s just the gentle hum of the air conditioning and the sound of my heavy breathing from being startled awake.

It doesn’t change the fact that my cortisol levels are sky-high, and my body still feels like it needs to flee the intruder I thought was outside the window. My mind is still wholly convinced I was just about to die, and my heart is pounding in my chest to the rhythm of panic.

The only thing that works in these instances is getting up. It might mean losing some sleep tonight, but there’s no way I’ll drift off now. Even if I did, I’d likely just start the same dream over again. The risk of another round of sleep paralysis has me getting out of bed to grab my laptop.

I glance back at the window. I know there was no man standing at the window watching me. But the hairs on the back of my neck still stand up, and I have this strong feeling in my gut, an instinct, telling me to get away.

I’m too embarrassed to go out into the living room and watch TV. Explaining to Cooper that I’m a grown woman who still gets whole-ass, full-body nightmares like this is more than I have in me right now, even though I know he wouldn’t judge me for it.

Unfortunately, my hiding out doesn’t last long because there’s a soft knock at the door, and I call to tell him he can come in. He opens it gently, and his eyes drift to the floor, where I’m sitting with a pillow at my back, playing on my phone, and absently watching some documentary I found on a streaming channel.

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah. Just couldn’t sleep.”

“Any particular reason you’re down there instead of on the bed?” His brow quirks up at my position on the floor, and he leans against the door frame. He looks much like he did in my dream, only he’s unfortunately wearing a shirt this time.

“I…” I let out a sigh. Trying to come up with an excuse on the spot is more difficult than I thought, so honesty it is. “I get sleep paralysis. Have you had it before?”

He frowns and shakes his head no.

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