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When Hyx doesn't show up for lunch an hour later, I’m at my wit's end. I hunt him down through every corridor of the lab until at last, I find him skulking in a back lot with a bagged lunch.
“Enough of this, Hyx. What’s going on?”
“Nothing.” He dodges the question, bagging up his food and trying to make a break for it.
“Not so fast. This isn’t like you. I can’t help but feel that you’re hiding something. Just come out with it before I go crazy. Please.”
I cup his face in my hands. It's my one shot at using our connection to knock some sense into him.
Finally, he caves. “It’s these memories I keep having. I feel like there’s nothing I can do to keep you safe. Unless I…” He can’t finish the words.
“You think you need to stay away from me, don’t you? You think you’re being noble.” I'm utterly shocked. Maybe this is what the text meant, at least for us. Tempting fate by doing what we think and denying how we feel. I can’t let this happen. Not again.
“Hyx, this is incredibly dangerous. We’ve been given a chance few in the universe ever know. We have to stay together. We owe it to fate.”
“I don’t care about any of that, Libby. I just want to keep you alive.”
“We could die at any time. That's always been true. Being fated mates doesn’t change the precariousness of life itself.”
When he doesn't say anything, I press further. “Don’t you see? Death isn't the worst thing that could happen to us, Hyx. That’s already happened, many times over. The real tragedy was the time we didn’t get to spend together. Fate wants us together, even briefly. We can’t go trying to alter fate like this. There are consequences.”
He shakes his head, refusing to agree. “I just don’t see that this can end well,” he admits, pulling away from me.
“You won’t try?” I beg, trying to bring him back in. He shakes his head and rage fills me from every corner.
“Fine!” I storm off, hoping to make some sense of it. How can he not see it?
After an hour to cool-off and more time reading from the passages of the Sacred Writ of Ataxia, I'm on the hunt for him again. This time, with papers in hand, bullet-pointed and cross-referenced with evidence. Hard evidence. Hours of work from ancient texts, interviews, and documented studies. It’s my life’s undertaking, but it will be meaningless if I can’t get my mate to see what’s happening.
Time ticks away as I cover every inch of the complex, only to keep coming up short. In a desperate bid, I know there’s someone I can ask, though I loathe the degradation even as the words leave my lips.
“Elyzin, have you seen Hyx around? I spoke to him at lunch, but I haven’t seen him since.”
A sneer takes over his face, “Well lookie what we have here. The girl of the hour. I guess I have you to thank that he up and quit.”
“Quit?”
“Walked out of here an hour ago.” Wow. Stunned in silence, I ignore Elyzin’s crude demeanor as I walk away. I can’t believe he just left.
Crumpling the papers in my hands, a new rage builds within me. Wherever you are, Hyx, I hope you can feel me now. Cause I’m mad as hell, and when I find you, it’s going to be worse than your worst nightmare ever was.
CHAPTER 31
HYX
Irun my eyes over the controls. It’s pretty basic, but what more can I expect of a courier craft? I power up and pull away from the docking bay at Fenwilde Lab. It is situated on the vast roof of the Fenwilde complex. I try to squash my feelings of misgiving at the sight of the building dropping away below me.
“Take care, my love,” I whisper under my breath to Libby as I exit the stratosphere and launch into space.
My first mission is relatively short, a quick hop over to Glimner to deliver a batch of genetic embryos. I power up for hyperdrive and push the accelerator forward. I love the feeling I get in the pit of my stomach when I jump to warp speed. But then comes the boring part. Hours of sitting with nothing to do but think of Libby growing further and further away from me.
The connection is still there, begging for me to stop, pulling me back to her. Of course, this connection is strong. Why else would it lead us as far as our violent deaths two times now? My heart aches, doubt clouding my thoughts. All I want is for her to be here with me. Abandon everything, go off the grid, and live our lives far away from anyone who might hurt us.
Even then, I’m sure we’d meet a crushing end.
I don’t regret applying for the courier job. I need to get away for a while. But the work itself is pretty tedious. I run through the safety checks in the cramped cockpit, switch her over to autopilot, and then go to lie down in the tiny but well-appointed cabin.
I take a deep breath and think it over. I want to be with Libby with all my heart, but not if I can’t keep her safe. We seem to be stuck in a loop in our life cycle that I need to figure out how to break free of. Once I can do that, maybe we have a chance to stay together. To get a happily ever after.
