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I think about the severe food poisoning, the miscommunications, and now this. The universe tried to split us apart every other time. It warned us of what was to come. But in the past, we didn’t listen.
In my last life, I think I’d come to a similar conclusion. But I thought we might be able to beat fate. To overcome it and live happily together.
But that doesn’t seem to be the case. I can’t watch her die in another life. As much as it would kill me, I’d rather never see her again than see her dead.
CHAPTER 30
LIBBY
Another bright day at the lab, and I find I’ve been humming again. Despite the signals that we may be in danger, I can't help but feel like I'm walking on air. Each step gives me a sort of renewed purpose.
How lucky am I to have found my fated mate and partner in research at the same time? A scientist dreams of living their study and so few get to realize it like I have. But it has its caveats, that’s for sure.
Last night, for example, after the fire wrecked our meal, Hyx and I wandered to a greasy spoon. I couldn't help but notice his demeanor had changed. He seemed darker and more self-aware. If not for the little concerns that his behavior raised buzzing in my brain, it’s been an otherwise joyous morning.
I find my notes waiting for me at my desk, a review from yesterday’s work. While I still haven’t worked out a concrete scientific connection, I have found that the theory itself contains many other questions. The scope of fated mates seems only to grow the more I look into it. Like Hyx’s conflicting disposition the night before.
Forget the things I know when we’re not together, today I’m focused on something I hadn’t thought about before. The things I don’t know. The things he endeavors to hide and the questions that his sometimes odd behavior begs. Which, of course, is why?
I head to the break room to fill up my cup only to find him waiting for me there. There’s something off about him today, just like last night. His actions are typical but behind them is that question again. How is it that in less than ten hours he’s so completely changed?
“Hey,” he says, but it's not his usual greeting. There’s an undertone of risk in his voice, of reservation.
“Hey,” I sound off, mimicking his manner. “You shot out pretty quickly last night. Everything okay?”
“Dinner didn’t agree with me.” There’s something off about that, too. It sounds rehearsed.
“Huh, okay. Well, are you coming by the lab today? I’ve got an interesting new angle about my theory that I want to test. You game?”
He shifts, his eyes suddenly stuck to his coffee mug. “Uh, I don’t know. Maybe.” He can't seem to stand comfortably or look at me. Something is definitely off about today.
‘Well, okay. Maybe I’ll see you later then?”
“Yeah. We’ll see.” Short, direct, suspicious.
I can read his expression easily. If we were regular boyfriend and girlfriend, I’d say this is the part where he pulls back because of his own internal struggle with commitment. But we’re different. We’re two souls who’ve been circling each other for centuries hoping to find one, just one, lifetime where we can be together. Now that we have our chance, we should take it.
So why the cold shoulder all of a sudden? If there’s one thing our bond tells me, it's that he’s hiding something.
Back in the lab, I jot down these observations in my notes, underlining a new concern. What happens when fated mates deny their connection? Are there potential consequences for this action? If so, what are they?
Pulling out my wrist comm, I add to my vocal log. “Entry #521. Fated mates observations continue with myself and Hyx as subjects, exploring the connection between past life memories and real-world stimuli. Last night was noticeably different. Since we’ve returned some of our recollections, a picture is becoming clear in our regenerative cycles.”
I pause and close my eyes, trying to pull my thoughts together. “Our timelines share these similarities, however murky. One, we have lived at least three other lives before this one. Two, each time we died in an act of self-sacrifice. Three, each time we were betrayed in some manner.”
An involuntary shiver runs down my spine, but I push it aside to continue with my scientific log. “The change in Hyx's mannerisms is beginning to point to his conviction that separation will keep one or both of us safe. But if any of this can be taken as evidence, it only shows that we’ve repeated these actions and perhaps these mistakes, too.”
I swallow hard, mulling it over before I continue. “It all begs a serious and possibly life-changing question that demands an answer. He’s protecting himself from me, and I can’t read him. I have to wonder, could there be retributive events that transpire from this course of action?”
I spend the rest of the day until lunch with that concern rattling in my brain. I’ve based most of my research on my own findings, making it circumstantial at best unless I could find some evidence somewhere. Lately, I’ve been looking desperately through ancient religious texts of the Kaleidians, Ishani, and the Vrakutan, but nothing has surfaced yet.
An hour’s reading from the Sacred Writ of Ataxia and still nothing of measure has made itself known. I've been reading so quickly from the book, searching for a desperate answer from anything, that hardly a word has passed into my memory.
“Gah!” I shout in frustration. “If someone would just please help me.” My temper, with no attachments to religion whatsoever, flares. I shove the book away from me, knocking a cup of coffee across the ancient pages.
“Shit.” I immediately start dabbing at it with a cloth. Looking down one of the passages becomes darker and stands out apart from the others. “In this treaty, you need a test, the fated ones above the rest, that lean into each other and find, the universe is always kind. Let not these lovers be deceived, or darken to each other’s heed, for those who tempt the fated mates, can rip the ages in their wake.”
Fuck, I need to find Hyx.
