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I looked down at my skirt, picked off a piece of lint and absentmindedly dropped it on the floor. I was trying to avoid looking at Nathan, because it felt too painful. “I have decided to go home. I tried to live like this, all carefree and casual while we were away, but I can’t. It’s just not for me and I want more than that.” I looked up at Nathan, into his eyes, and I was surprised that I could see the sadness there. “I want it all. I want Prince Charming.”
Nathan sighed. “You know I can’t give you that. I’m through with relationships. I’m not after that sort of life anymore.” Nathan put down the window that divided us from Sam. “Change of plans, Sam. Miss Sommers is going back to her own place.”
Sam glanced in the review mirror and I could see his eyebrows rise slightly, but Sam knew better than to question his boss. “Ok, Mr Davenport.”
The SUV pulled up out front of my house and Nathan and I stepped out. Sam got out and took my luggage inside for me.
“I’ll have Sam bring the rest of your things over later,” Nathan said, his voice tight and strained. I knew he was having a hard time letting me go, but the thought wasn’t enough to make me want to stay with him. And his feelings clearly weren’t enough for him to offer me more.
“Thank you, Nathan.”
“This is my business card, it has all my phone numbers on it if you ever want to reach me.” Nathan handed me the small white card. “For anything, even if you just want to hang out or you want to argue with someone,” he teased, clearly trying to lighten the mood between us.
“Thank you again, Nathan, for everything. We did have some really good times together.” I smiled. “Maybe I will come over and have a dip in your swimming pool one day.”
Nathan laughed. “Anytime, just remember that black bikini.” He leaned down and kissed me softly on the lips. “I’ll see you later, angel.” He turned and then glanced back at me, hesitating before he went to get in the car. I grabbed him on the arm.
“Think about your life, Nathan. Really think if the life you’re living is truly what you want. Throwing it away over something one woman did to you is crazy. We’re not all the same and I would never treat you like that.” I released Nathan’s arm and turned and walked into my house. I couldn’t look back, I didn’t want him to see the tears that were welling in my eyes. My heart was breaking more with every step I took away from him.
I managed to control my tears until I heard Nathan’s SUV take off down the street. Once he was gone, I sat down on my lounge and cried until I had no more tears left. My heart felt as though it was broken into a million pieces. I had fallen completely in love with Nathan and I’d just let him go from my life.
Chapter sixteen
I spent the next week after returning from Hawaii moping around my house. I could only bring myself to leave the house to buy food or to go over to Liam’s house to see baby Erin. I had spent all that time at Nathan’s place complaining about being stuck in the house and now I didn’t want to leave my own.
I woke one morning and a feeling of disappointment ran though me the minute I opened my eyes. I was hoping I’d dreamt Nathan dropping me off a week ago and driving away. I still couldn’t believe Nathan was so worried about having his heart broken again that he couldn’t be in a relationship with me, he was too scared to give it a go. He’d so easily give up on what was growing between us. I’d thought about it so much over the past week that it made me depressed, and it was also beginning to make me angry.
I sat up in bed as I heard a knock on the front door. I got out, wrapped my gown around me and padded my way barefoot to the door. Sam was standing on the other side with the rest of my things from Nathan’s house.
“Good morning, Sam,” I greeted him brightly, surprised by how happy I was to see him.
“Good morning, Rose. I have your things. Sorry it’s taken me so long to bring them over to you, but I’ve just been so busy.”
“That’s fine, I haven’t needed any of it.” I paused, wondering if I should ask Sam the question I was wanting desperately to ask. I couldn’t help myself. “How is Nathan going?”
Sam shrugged one big shoulder. “He’s ok. He’s working all the time, I haven’t seen him much.” Sam smiled. “I think that he didn’t want me to bring your stuff over because he wants you to come back. I’m positive that he misses having you around.”
