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“Not really, but I will,” I assure him, trying to sound strong and in control, when really my stomach lurches with just the thought of them being here again. “I’m worried,” I admit, so quietly I can barely hear myself.
“What about?”
“That I’ll lose myself when they’re here. That her voice will become the loudest thing in my head again,” I say on a broken sob, as emotion I hadn’t realized was so close to the surface breaks free.
“We won’t let that happen. I won’t let that happen,” he tells me, the dominant tone of his voice a promise, an order.
Nodding, I wrap my arms around his neck and bury my face in the crook of his shoulder, letting him take some of the fear from me when he holds me close, like he never plans to let me go.
I dress in some jeans and a tank top I find in Tally’s closet. There’s plenty of my own clothes here, but I can’t bring myself to wear anything my mom picked, plus now I’ve realized how comfortable jeans are I can’t think of anything worse than wearing a form fitting dress all day.
“You look hot in my clothes,” she says when I walk into the kitchen, glancing at a sleeping Watson, his head rested against the table, soft snores coming from his parted lips.
“Thanks, my wardrobe is all Mom approved,” I start to explain.
“I totally get it, I donated all of the stuff she forced me to wear to a women’s refuge the moment I moved into Arlo’s,” she says with a shrug.
“How are you so bright and cheery?” I ask, taking in how fresh and happy she looks.
“I switched to water after the second bottle of champagne, no matter how often I try it, I still can’t stand the stuff no matter how good a bottle it is,” she smiles.
“Urgh,” I groan, “Why didn’t I do that?”
“You’ll feel better once you’ve eaten,” Carson says, sliding his arms around my waist from behind.
“I’m ready to get out of here, the whole house reeks,” she giggles.
“You want to come back to The Escape? We could get out on the water?” Carson says.
“Yes,” Watson says, lifting his head from the table.
“That sounds like fun,” Tally says, placing her coffee cup in the sink, then hoisting herself up to sit on the counter, just as Arlo and a bleary-eyed looking Olly walk into the room.
“We need to get out of here soon,” Arlo says, searching out my sister, then making a beeline straight for her, pushing his way between her legs, like he needs to be as close to her as possible.
“We’re taking The Escape out,” Carson says.
“Sweet, I need to head home and change, so let’s meet at yours in an hour,” Arlo says, nuzzling into my sister’s neck and making her giggle.
As a group we all leave, closing the front door behind us and making our way to the cars that are still parked out front. A handful of photographers are stationed at the end of the drive, but we ignore them all as we open the gates and move in convoy away from the house.
I don’t bother to look back, even though I know it’s doubtful I’ll ever set foot inside our parents’ home again, and a feeling of peace settles over me. Home isn’t a house anymore, it’s where I’m safe and loved, it’s where I’m surrounded by friends and family, ones who actually care about me. Home is where Carson is, so instead of glancing back at what I’m leaving behind, I turn and look at the boy beside me, the one who wants me, who I think loves me in spite of everything I used to be.
* * *
My parents’ jet lands in the small private airport on the outskirts of the city a little after noon, and Olly’s guy leaks the news of their safe return to the states along with the pre surgery pictures thirty minutes later.
The crew helms The Escape back into its slip at the marina just as the last of the sunlight is slipping below the horizon. My hair is windswept, my nose is pink from the warm fall sun, and my smile is huge. I’ve been sailing before, but it’s always been more about being seen than actually enjoying the freedom that comes from being out on the open water. Turning, I find Carson with the other guys, coiling rope, his smile wider than I’ve ever seen it, his laughter loud and easy. He told me this boat was his favourite place, and now I understand why.
My cell rings and I slip it from my shorts pocket and lift it to my ear without even glancing at the screen, my attention riveted to my boyfriend. “Hello?”
“Hello Carrigan, would you like to explain why it is the world thinks your father and I are dead and why there’s pictures of you and your sister at my house?” my mother growls.
Waving my hands in the air to garner the others attention I point to the cell at my ear and motion for them all to follow me inside. Switching the cell to speakerphone, I lay it down on the breakfast bar as the others crowd around me.
“Mother I’m so glad you’re okay. Tallulah and I were so worried. We were pulled out of class the other day and told by the principal that your yacht was missing, obviously we were heartbroken, so we headed home to arrange a search and rescue mission,” I say as calmly as I can muster, even though my heart feels like it’s beating out of my chest.
“How did you get in? The new housekeeper was given instructions not to allow anyone in without our prior consent,” she snarls, anger and hatred dripping from every word.
