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Erika glanced at the door Blake had just closed. He was going to go to that pub tonight, flirt with a woman, and then bring her home with him.
The loneliness she’d admitted feeling was still there. Blake obviously wasn’t suffering the same because he was living the life he wanted. He didn’t want a relationship, was more than fine with casual hookups, so that was what he indulged in.
Unlike her, he didn’t let the grass grow under his feet, didn’t let life pass him by while standing on the sidelines. How the hell did she expect to stop feeling lonely if she didn’t put herself out there, didn’t try to find the relationship she longed for?
She’d never been big on dating or partying, simply because she was always studying. Medical school, the boards, residency. It felt as if she’d spent ninety percent of her life with her nose in a book, preparing for the next test.
While she’d had a couple long-term boyfriends, both relationships had ended badly. So now she was left to wonder if she’d been using her schooling and her work as excuses to avoid the dating scene.
Fuck it.
No more excuses.
The time was right.
She was going to take a page from Blake’s book and stop denying herself things that might make her happy.
Before she could think of an excuse not to, she replied to Doug’s message, accepting his offer. His response came just a few minutes later, as he named a time and restaurant. She gave him a thumbs-up, then closed her phone, slowly sipping the rest of the smoothie.
By the time Blake returned with Corky, she was pleasantly surprised to realize her headache was gone, as was the queasiness in her stomach.
Once again, Blake had known just how to take care of her.
Only, right now, that didn’t feel like such a great thing.
* * *
Erika toed off her shoes by the door, then slipped off Corky’s leash. Walking to the kitchen, she poured herself a glass of iced tea, then headed to the couch, sinking down and propping her feet on the coffee table. Corky hopped up next to her, quickly settling in her lap.
She absentmindedly patted the dog’s head. “Daddy will be home tonight, Cork.” The dog wagged her tail, and Erika grinned, pretending Corky could understand her. Blake had been out of town, hitting the road for three nights of away games.
Talking to a dog might sound silly to some people, but considering Erika lived alone, it felt good to be able to fill some of the silence in the place with conversations. Even if they were one-sided.
Resting her head on the back of the couch, she sighed, absently running her finger over her lower lip, recalling the good-night kisses she and Doug had just shared.
Two weeks had passed since his first invitation to dinner, and they’d gone out three times since, each time dragging out the goodbyes a little longer.
She knew Doug was waiting for the sleepover invitation, but so far, she hadn’t issued it. She wasn’t sure what was holding her back. Doug was great, and their dates had been fun. In addition to eating out, they texted occasionally, exchanging messages at least once every day or two. They didn’t really talk about anything earth-shattering, just sharing little tidbits about their days, but it was still nice.
Tonight, they’d made out in his car outside her building like teenagers for a few minutes. Doug had rested his forehead against hers when they’d finally parted, clearly hoping she’d ask him in.
“I should have,” she said aloud to Corky. “Why didn’t I?”
Part of her knew. Actually, all of her knew. She just didn’t want to admit it to herself.
While he was an attractive man and a decent kisser…she didn’t feel any spark.
She’d had three lovers in the past. Just three. And while the sex had been okay, it sure as shit hadn’t ruined her for other men. Now that she had Blake’s masturbation lesson to use as a point of comparison, she didn’t doubt for a second that sex with Doug wouldn’t match up. It would probably be satisfying, and the ignorance-is-bliss Erika of old would have been perfectly happy with that.
This Erika?
She wanted her world rocked. Period.
Which was a problem she was going to have to overcome.
Because the more she got to know Doug, the more she suspected he was almost perfect for her in every other way. They shared the same interests, liked the same restaurants, laughed at each other’s jokes, and had a good time together.
For someone who’d been bitching about being lonely, it felt as if Doug should be the answer to a prayer.
